The Need to Vent

August 25, 2004

During the course of my life, few instances have presented themselves that seem so dire as to feel the need to vent. In fact, for the most part, I’ve been a fairly self-sufficient person that always looked at having people around me as a perk… not a necessity. I guess I took that for granted, because now that I don’t really have anyone around I feel the need to vent much more frequently. Hence the creation of this web log. And even though I use it to vent to no one, it still seems to help quite a bit. But today I was talking to a co-worker about HIS web log and it got me thinking about this craze that seems to be sweeping the web: online journals and web logs (like this one). It seems like everyone has one. Much like anti-depressants, more and more people are signing up every day for a spot on the web to vent and share their feelings with no one at all.

Why is that?

Much like myself, my co-worker doesn’t mind telling people that he has a web log. But does he give out the address? Does he say “hey… I’ve got a web log… go read it”? No. Maybe I was supposed to ask for the address, but I didn’t… and he didn’t offer it up. And when I responded that I had one as well, I didn’t offer up my address nor did he ask for it. It was mutually decided somehow that it was cool to know we both had one, but neither wanted the other to actually read it. I suppose it’s a lot like a written journal or a diary. A lot of people have (or maybe had) one and made no secret about it. But watch the shit hit the fan when that journal or diary was read. Few things can traumatize someone as fiercely as having a journal read.

So why are millions of people across the globe posting these oh-so-secret journals online for anyone to read? Most of them aren’t hidden, or secret, or locked down. Most of them are open, free for all glimpses into the heads of the people writing them. They are the equivalent of a hand-written diary being filled with everything we could never say out loud and then left open on the bench outside of the local Wal-Mart for all to see. And while no one would really ever do that with their diary, folks are lining up day by day to leave their web logs and online journals out in the open.

But I think I finally figured it out. People are, by nature, social creatures. Generally speaking, most people enjoy the company of others and like to keep at least a few close friends around that they can talk to about almost anything. Freud and friends have never quite figured out why, but it is generally true that talking about something that’s bothering us usually makes the bother diminish, at least to a degree. We’re told not to keep things bottled up inside because they’ll either explode or make us completely dead on the outside. I think most people would agree that explosion and internal death are not ideal situations to be in. Even the most hard, stoic individual will eventually open up to someone… and will feel better about doing it. But how do you decide who to open up to? Who can you trust with your most intimate thoughts and feelings? Will the information you divulge remain sacred? Or will it end up biting you in the ass at a later date or, better yet, make the rounds at work, school, or your house?

Enter the web log.

It is the fact that no one in particular reads the web log that makes it so therapeutic to so many people (myself included). Through the web log, we can still get the satisfaction of venting and sharing without the fear or wonder of what will happen with the information we present. If someone reads it, who cares? Unless you give out your web log to people you know, the strangers that might stumble upon your words will, at the most, read it… and then forget about it. I doubt many people spend time reading web logs only to pass along the contents to other people. Perhaps there are some who do. But I’m willing to bet that number is few. By getting our thoughts out we receive the cosmic benefit of venting. By not having to deal with the consequences (or possible consequences) of face-to-face venting, we remove the fear of being open. Not only with others, but with ourselves. It’s much easier to express a difficult feeling or a personal thought in writing than in voice. But by writing it down and saving it online, not only do we express… but we read. I’m sure I’m not the only person that goes back and reads what he’s written in the past when I come here to make a new post. I can look back at what was going on during a moment in the past and decide 1) how important that moment was and 2) have I learned anything… has anything changed.

So it’s not so much that people are dying to spill their guts to strangers. It’s much more likely that people are tired of being bottled up… ready to explode… and I for one think that’s a good thing.

Posted in Human Nature, Noteworthy

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