Don’t Lie to me Argentina (or anyone else, for that matter)
October 7, 2004
If I got started, I could probably go on for hours about things that I don’t like. It’s not that I’m negative or anything… I could go on for hours about things that I DO like, too. The point is, I’ve got a lot of opinions about a lot of different things.
But the one thing I don’t like *most* of all is a lie.
I took a philosophy class in which we spent 1/3 of the semester discussing lying. We had a separate book that dealt with the topic and it covered everything from the religious/moral implications of lying from a number of perspectives to the author’s views on the ramifications of a lie. What I took from that class was basically a understanding that everyone lies. Yeah… I bet Mother Teresa even lied about something at some point.
The author of the text we were reading (which, I believe, was Seclia Bok) argued that a lie can be understandable, and in some cases even justifiable, in some situations. Her example was a murderer coming to the door and asking if your roommate was home. Obviously, you’d want to lie here. She basically boiled it down to the Principle of Veracity. Under this principle, she says that a lie automatically carries negative weight when compared to the truth. To determine if a lie is justifiable, one must consider whether or not the lie tips the scales back in it’s favor, or if the truth still outweighs the lie.
That being said… why do so many people lie about the most mundane of things.
Ok… so you don’t want to do something that a friend asks you to do. Don’t lie about it. Just say “I don’t really want to do that”. Or say you’re in the middle of a conversation about a topic you don’t really have anything to add to. Don’t make something up just to be part of the conversation. And please, above all other things, do not look me in the eyes and tell me a lie KNOWING full and well that it IS a lie. That is the worst! Beat me… pull my teeth out… force-feed me glass. But for the love of all things good and sacred, don’t lie to my face.
Maybe it’s my blunt nature, but I will look you in the eyes and tell you the honest truth whether you want to hear it or not. In fact, that is one of my personality traits that I am constantly having to explain to other people. If you ask me if I think you look fat in something, and you do… I’m going to say “yeah… ya look fat in that.” Or if you ask me if I think you’re crazy because you’re obsessing over something like… say… oh… I don’t know… the fact that you ran into an ex last night, I’m most likely going to tell you “yeah… get over it.” And, to give you a real-world example, if you’re having relationship problems, and the one thing you need to hear is that the person you’re with is a looser that will never change, I’ll be the one to tell you just that. You may not want to hear it… everyone else may be thinking it… and it may not come with a iced cupcake… but I will tell you the truth, or at least my honest, humble opinion 99% of the time. That 1% is saved for the murdered at the door.
So that’s just it… I will always be honest with you. Please… do the same for me.
Honesty *is* a virtue… and it’s one that sometimes isn’t pretty. But it’s a virtue, none the less.
Posted in Human Nature, Noteworthy, Personal
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June 29th, 2006 at 8:39 pm
[…] To the person who thinks I don’t notice or care about other’s feelings: you couldn’t be more mistaken. You have confused lack of concern for other people’s feelings with honesty. Dishonesty is my primary pet peeve. A lot of people will tell you what you want to hear. In an attempt to shield your feelings from the truth, they will tell you exactly what you want them to say regardless of whether or not it is the truth. The way they figure it, if your feelings are spared it will be much better for you emotionally. The way *I* figure it, they simply don’t want to deal with your feelings or emotions because it’s better for them… not you. All they are doing is putting off the inevitable. Because the truth always finds a way to the surface eventually. I’ll think about what you want to hear… and then I’ll throw it aside and tell you the truth… what you need to hear. Even if it means an unpleasant emotional response on your part, I can always be counted on to be honest. In the long run, the truth is always better than a lie. Perhaps I could work on my delivery (I tend to be a little on the blunt side from time to time). But subtle or not, I will never be convinced that it’s better to spare a person’s feelings at the sake of sparing the truth. If that makes me cold or heartless so be it. I’d rather be heartless than full of shit. […]
April 8th, 2007 at 7:48 pm
The problem is being too honest earns a lot of hatred. I know.
April 10th, 2007 at 8:43 pm
Oh yes… you’re very right about that.