The Cat is Out of the Bag: Responses to PostSecret

June 26, 2005

One of my new favorite sites to visit on the web is PostSecret. The idea is very cool: make a postcard on which you share a deep, dark secret… and then send it to this blog. They are all anonymous, of course, which is why people seem to be sending in all sorts of things that they claim they’d never be able to tell anyone else.

Some of the postcards people send in are quite simple: a pre-made postcard with a few words scribbled over the image. Some are drawings or “artwork” that we can only assume were created by the secret-sharer. And others are creative concoctions made up of combinations of drawings, pictures, and text that say as much with their imagery as they do with their words. If nothing else, the images people choose to tell their secrets are just as interesting as the secrets themselves.

There are messages sent in to the blog author about how therapeutic it was to get the secret out in the open. As I’ve said before, venting and expressing can be of benefit, even if it’s done in the relative anonymity of the Internet. But many of the secrets posted to this site are not run-of-the-mill venting issues.

The actual secrets being posted are just as diversified as the artwork… on first glance. But as I look over the secrets folks are sharing, several themes to seem to emerge that the majority of the postcards could be filed into:

1) Relationships
2) Molestation
3) Homosexuality
4) Sexual Deviance
5) Perceptions of Self
6) Death, Dying, & Murder

and lastly, a few are just plain stupid and were likely sent in as a joke (“Sometimes I eat my boogers” and “I want to crap on my mother’s white rug”).

After reading through all of the secrets posted, I was left with the feeling that many of these people are not only sharing “secrets”, but also touching on the very essences of human nature. This website is like a compilation of the oddities of the human mind. Some of the secrets are very cut-and-dry. Some of them are making issues out of things that seem like common sense to me. Some of them are ignoring the obvious. Others are simply denying reality.

What I’ve come to realize about a lot of these secrets is that they could easily be laid to rest with a tiny bit of honesty, a little common sense, a shot of reality, or a little less excuse-making.

After-thought: After I was done writing this post, I re-read it, like I always do. During my re-read, I began to notice that my responses to these complete strangers ended up saying as much about me as the secrets said about the people posting them. And this is exactly why I enjoy doing just what I’ve done here. By looking at other people, I get a better understand of myself in the process. I couldn’t be happier with the results of this post.

What follows are my responses to some of the more “interesting” things people have decided to share.
The Relationship Secrets

* “I dream there is a lover who will know I’m faking”

Why would you want a lover with whom you have to fake anything? Wouldn’t a better dream into which you could pour energy be a lover who you will not have to fake things with? You can read several different definitions of “faking” with this one, but regardless of what they are faking, it’s just silly to 1) dream of someone with whom you have to be fake and 2) call such a person a “lover”. Spend less time being fake and more time trying to figure out why you are fake with the people you “love”.

* “I think I am in love. And I don’t know if I want to be. I am kind of scared”

Love can be scary… this is no secret. And sometimes we’re surprised by the people we end up loving. But how can you not know if you want to be in love or not? Psychologists might say that ambivalence about something is perfectly normal and to be expected in certain situations. This I cannot argue with. But is love really one of them? Either you love someone or you don’t. The whole “I love you but I hate you” story makes no sense to me. If you truly love someone there should be no ambivalence. If there is, then I bet it’s not love you’re feeling. Attachment… lust… intrigue… but not love. I can buy being scared by the prospect of love, particularly if it’s the first time. But I don’t buy not knowing if you want to be. Either you do or you don’t… and judging from what this person says, they don’t.

* “If I had a million dollars, I would give it all away for one more day with her like it used to be in the beginning”

First things first… if you REALLY had a million dollars, you’d be much more likely to try to buy this girl’s affection with it than you would be to just to give it away. That being said, look at what you’re saying. Apparently things have changed from the way they were “in the beginning”. Guess what… no amount of money is going to rewind time. There is no tricked out DeLorean that will take you back to the way things were. People love to throw ideas like this around: “in the beginning”… “the way things were”. Once change occurs, it’s next to impossible to undo it. Realistically, actions cannot be unacted… words cannot be unsaid… and feelings cannot be unfelt. It will never truely be “like it used to be in the beginning”. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

* “Thinking about being with him is more exciting than actually being with him”

Save yourself some time then… get rid of him and spend the time you would normally spend being with him, which is less exciting, just thinking about him, which is more exciting. It’s not rocket science - if presented with two options, and one is more pleasurable than the other, you go with the one that makes you feel better.

* “I feel trapped in a relationship with the greatest girl ever… because I’m still in love with a bitch”

Contrary to popular mentality, no one is ever, EVER “trapped” in a relationship. Make any excuse you want, but if you really wanted to end your relationship, you would. People who think they are trapped in a relationship are not really trapped by the other person - they themselves are codependent. I’m willing to bet you think of this girl as “the greatest girl ever” because she keeps you from being alone. And if you’re in love with someone you think is a bitch, you’re a glutton for punishment and probably deserve to be with the bitch.

* “Sometimes I think my fiance isn’t the one”

Join the club, buddy. You don’t think your fiance is “the one” because no such thing exists. When you get married, you’re betting that your fiance is “one of many” who could make you happy. Not simply “the one”.

* “I don’t know if it will last but for now, he makes me feel like I can do anything I ever dreamed”

Another case of codependency. Reference the marriage post linked to above for a more in-depth look at my take on this… but you should be able to do anything you’ve ever dreamt about on your own… without anyone else’s influence. If you need another person to make you feel competent enough to do what YOU want to do, then your time would be better spent trying to figure out why you are incomplete. As long as “he” is propping you up, you’ll never be able to stand on your own.

* “I am terrified I will never get married”

Why would this be terrifying to you? Are you truly so empty that the prospect of not having a spouse from whom you can feed off of terrifies you? Damn it people… LEARN TO BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF FIRST! Besides… if you’re out there hunting for marriage… you will never find it. Why do you think deer hunters sit in trees and hidden lookout posts? They know that if you want to catch something, you wait for it to come to you. If you’re on the prowl it will continue to elude you. Bucks and love… both appear when you’re not looking.

* “I started using speed to get his attention and affection. All I got was addicted”

For starters, why would you want the attention and affection of someone who would require you to hurt yourself with drugs? He obviously doesn’t give a rat’s about you if hardcore drug use is a prerequisite for his time. The harsh reality of it says that if you had to use speed to get his attention, he obviously wasn’t very interested in who you were. And now that you have an addiction to speed you will be reminded of your foolish mistake every day. Maybe you’ll think twice the next time you feel the need to act differently for the affection of someone else. If they don’t give you attention based on who you naturally are, repay the favor… ignore them and find someone else.

* “He was never that into me, but I let him fake it for over a year!”

*Rolls eyes* What you meant to say here was “He was never that into me, but I let him use me and take advantage of me for over a year”. If he wasn’t into you, but he stuck around for a year, he was obviously getting something out of it. You basically allowed yourself to be a toy for a year of your life. You’ll never get that year back… and what did you do with it? You spent it being someone else’s joke. He obviously didn’t think very highly of you if he was able to use you for such a long period of time. The fact that you knew this and you continued to be a part of it is sad. It means you have no self respect and probably share in the same feelings about yourself that this guy who used you did.

The Molestation Secrets

* “My sister and I explored each other sexually as children. As the older girl I feel guilty that I may have molested her”

Kids will be kids and sometimes this involves sexual exploration. But if you were old enough to know better at the time, then yes… you should feel guilty. The fact that you DO feel guilty now makes me think you did know better. Only you know the answer for sure, though.

* “I was sexually molested at the age of eight. I never told anyone. I’m 48 now. Thank you.”

Many children who are molested never speak up. Some do. Some do, but only when they are older. It is the nature of children to feel shame about such things. Molesters know this, and so they feed on the shame to convince kids to stay quiet. It’s very unfortunate, though.. because most people who molest children do no do it once. Staying quiet about such an act for 40 years is too long. I can understand children staying quiet. But you have been an adult for far too long to only now come forward about this. And you shouldn’t be sending this to a site like PostSecret. You should be telling the police.

* “Honestly, I’m glad your uncle died, because he molested me that time in 7th grade that I spent the night at your house… he told me that I liked it. I hope he likes it in his grave…”

If the person who this is directed at is a friend (which I assume because you’re spending the night with them) then you have no excuse for being quiet about it. If your friend’s uncle molested you, you should have said something to your friend. For all you know, this uncle was molesting your friend (or other friends) at the same time. If you had said something then, this uncle would have paid for his crime long before dying. He died knowing that he got away with violating you. And you are the only one who is to blame for that.

* I’m going to paraphrase this one: The person’s stepfather beat and raped them for seven years. Sometimes it felt good. “And that makes me hate myself”

Do you hate yourself because it felt good… or do you hate yourself for allowing it to continue BECAUSE it felt good? There’s a difference. If it felt good and you didn’t want it to stop, then your self hate is called guilt. If you wanted it to stop, but didn’t do anything about it your self hate is called shame.

* “I tell people that I don’t believe in God, when really, I just refuse to worship a god that would let grandfather hurt me like he did”

That same God that you say “let” you grandfather hurt you also gave you something called free will. No god let your grandfather hurt you. You did.

* Another paraphrase here: Someone stripped on amateur night. They don’t feel dirty or ashamed. The feel used.

I hate to be the barer of bad news, but if you feel “used”… that’s shame. But what strikes me most about this one isn’t their confusion about shame. It’s the fact that they feel “used” when in fact, they were not used - they allowed themselves to be used. It’s completely different. Someone cannot use you if you allow them to do it. Once you become a willing participant others are cleared of any wrong-doing in the matter. You used yourself.

The Homosexual Secrets

* “I will be first in line if they find a cure for homosexuality”

Didn’t you hear? They already found the cure for homosexuality. It’s called Stop-having-sex-with-the-same-sex OTC. If you consider yourself a homosexual, and it bothers you, the simple solution to the problem is to just stop having homosexual thoughts/acts/etc. But wait… you say you can’t stop doing those things? Well then guess what… you’re homosexual and you will never be “cured”. You can choose to accept it, deal with it, and live your life… or you can struggle and fight against it until you’re a complete mess. Either way, you’re not going to be cured of anything except your sanity if you don’t accept who you are. Until you accept yourself, no one else will either.

* “I think about women… when I’m having sex with my husband”

Something else you and your husband have in common. He’s probably doing the same thing. Or thinking about men when he’s having sex with you. People are not as clear cut as they like to think they are. It’s not at all uncommon to have homosexual thoughts when it comes to sexual fantasy. In fact, according to Master’s and Johnson, homosexual fantasy is in the top five most reported things that folks think about when they’re having sex. So see… this shouldn’t even be a secret! Tell your husband… tell your friends… you’ll probably be surprised how common it is.

* “I say I don’t like the food but really I hate Hooters because I’m gay”

So you don’t like eating at a restaurant because you don’t find the staff sexually appealing? Where do you eat then? Gay strip bars? Public bathrooms? You let your sexuality define so much about who you are that it’s now telling you where and where not to eat. You are more than just “gay” (I hope). Get your sexuality off of your shirt sleeve and you’ll find out that the world has a lot more to offer than something to get you up.

* “I spread rumors about my gay classmate to see how people would react if they ever found out about me”

For starters, when they do found out about you (and they probably will) you’re going to look like a hypocrite and a liar (which you are). Enough said about that. But think about it for a second. Do you think people are stupid? What is one of the tell-all signs that someone is gay and trying to hide it? That’s right… shit-talking another gay person. I think it stems from jealousy - the shit-talker is jealous that the other person is cool with being gay. The shit-talker isn’t, and it kills them. So to make themselves feel better about being insecure, they try and make the person who’s ok with it feel insecure as well. All it does it make the shit-talker look… well… gay.

* “I had gay sex at church camp. 3 times”

I’m willing to bet you’re not the only one to have “gay sex” at church camp. Go ahead… flame me. But you know it’s true. And do you want to know why? Dogma cannot change what a person feels or how they think. It can make them feel shameful or guilty… but it doesn’t change the underlying person. Just like the population at large has a gay subsection, so too does the church. They can try to repress it… try to hide it… and feel awful on the inside about it.. but it doesn’t change anything. Get two people together who both enjoy “gay sex” and you get the same outcome - gay sex. At church… at home… in the park… wherever.

* “I think the girl on girl porn scenes are hot and I’m a little straight girl”

I’m tempted to think this was actually sent in by a guy. Why? Because most women don’t really keep the fact that they think girl on girl porn scenes are hot a big secret. Women who watch porn, that is. I’m not saying that non-porn watching women will jump up and down at the idea of GonGA (girl on girl action). But you can’t watch porn without seeing GonGA… so the women who do watch porn most likely enjoy it, no? But men who think GonGA is hot (and most do) would think it was even hotter if their women liked it too. Right? I think this “secret” is really some guy’s fantasy. Maybe I’m wrong. But if I am, someone needs to tell this girl that GonGA being hot is not really a big secret. :P

The Sexually Deviant Secrets

* “… I sold a pair of my (used) panties on eBay. He wrote and asked me for more”

I’m not sure why she’s surprised by this turn of events. Of course he wrote and asked for more. He found someone who’s into the same thing he is. Oh… but you say you’re not into buying used panties on eBay? Well guess what… when you enter the world of strange sexual fetish, you’re part of it. It’s just like a drug deal. You are the dealer… he is the addict. Who do you go to when you need more drugs? The dealer.

* “My wife worries that I’m more turned on by her lingerie than by her. She’s right”

I’m a little confused by this one. If the wife is wearing the lingerie, then wouldn’t it ultimately be the wife who was the turn on? But since she’s not, I can only draw one conclusion from this: he is turned on literally by the lingerie… as in he himself is into wearing lingerie. If this is the case, it’s no wonder his wife doesn’t turn him on.

* “Sometimes I use my nails during sex to hurt her on purpose”

You have to ask yourself why you’d do such a thing. There’s obviously either something about her that you don’t like, or something about you that enjoys hurting other people. I’m willing to bet its the latter… which is scary, because what starts out as simple nail scratching now could turn into something much worse later on.

* “I put lost socks to good use… I masturbate into them”

I’m guessing from the picture associated with this one that he’s talking about socks he finds at the laundry mat (the picture is of a laundry mat dryer). On a basic level I can see how doing such things would save your own clothes from being defiled by your self-loving acts. However, I can’t help but wonder if there’s something else at work here. Do you imagine the people to whom the sock used to belong while you have sex with it… or what you picture them to look like? On some level do you feel as though you’re having sex with them when you make love to their sock? Or are you just plain strange?

* “It really bothers me to admit this It freaks me out. But I think Hitler was sexy”

I put this one under sexual deviance because I think this person is associating the acts of Hitler with their desire for him. I’m willing to bet this wasn’t intentional, but regardless, the connotations of the secret seem to hint at that. If it freaks you out that you find him sexy you must be, perhaps unconsciously, connecting your attraction to the things that make Hitler an undesirable in the eyes of most of the world. If you simply like the way he looked physically, then you have nothing to be freaked out about. However, if you get hot and bothered when you’re imagining him signing an order to have millions of innocent people slaughtered then yes… you should be freaked out.

* “I had sex with strangers for money. And I liked it”

This is called prostitution. It’s been called the oldest profession. People have been selling themselves for money for as long as money has been exchanged for services. While it says something about your self esteem, the fact that you like it really doesn’t mean a whole lot in and of itself. Maybe it just means you’re one of the lucky few to have found a profession you enjoy. I say bravo… take that love of self exploitation and run… you’ll never be out of a job. For every prostitute walking the streets tonight there about ten people who would love to use them like a worthless sack of potatoes.

* “I believe my dead grandmother watches me with great disappointment every time I masturbate”

All I can ask is how in the world you can masturbate while thinking of your dead grandmother? That’s just not right.

The Self-Perception Secrets

* “I had a cyst on my face that ruined 7th and 8th grade. Now I love it because it makes me different”

Someone has to tell you this, so it might as well be me. You’re not the only person to have a cyst and certainly not the only one to have one on their face. While I can see how, because of the way kids are in 7th and 8th grade, it would be traumatic to have such a facial anomaly in the past, I don’t see how it makes you different now. If the only thing you can find about yourself to make you different is a growth on your face… you’re really not that different at all. Sorry. Look a little closer… and not in the mirror. Try looking inside. That is where true difference lies.

* “When I walk down the street, I look at other women and think: ‘My God! What Oprah could do with you in a makeover’!”

When I read this I can’t help but picture a Paris Hilton or Brittney Spears type. While I have no way of knowing what this person looks like, I figure it has to be one of two options: The Hilton/Spears type… or the exact same type that this person seems to be targeting their disdain toward (oh how we love to tear down those who are like us). What’s ironic, to me at least, is that the women you think need a makeover can do something about their appearance. You, on the other hand, can do nothing about your ugly, superficial soul.

* “This drink that is slowly killing me is the only thing keeping me from killing myself”

If you can’t find anything at all to make life worth living other than booze, you might want to consider if it’s even worth it to try. Generally speaking, people who try to find reasons to not kill themselves will never actually take their own life. They just want the attention that comes from talking about it.

* “I force new acquaintances to address me by my shortened name because it makes me forget my past”

If you’re ashamed of your past, then forgetting it is the last thing you want to do. When you forget the past, you are doomed to repeat it. If you try to forget it and block it from your mind you can never learn from it. And if there’s one benefit to a seedy past, it’s that it gives you the perfect opportunity to advance and, hopefully, move on from whatever it is that makes you unhappy about it.

* “The meds don’t work. But I say they do. And no one knows.”

That’s because meds rarely do work. Meds mask symptoms. They trick your body into thinking everything is hunky-dory. But in reality, they do nothing to solve the underlying problem. If you are depending on meds to get better or “work”, then you will never actually progress. Figure out what makes you think you need meds and THEN you might get somewhere.

* “I wish I were a popular idiot instead of a lonely genius”

Boy do I know how that feels! Haha… just kidding ;) But seriously, if you really are a genius then hopefully you can understand the phenomenon of popularity-seeking. People who seek popularity are not much different than the people who seek “love”. They do it because they can’t stand to be alone. And why can’t they stand to be alone? Because they are incomplete themselves. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - STAND ON YOUR OWN. You don’t need other people to be happy. Sure, friends are nice… they serve a purpose. I love mine. But I love myself as well, and if I had no friends at all I would still love myself. Come on… you’re a genius… you understand me… right?

* “When my friends go on diets I discourage them. This is because I really just want them to be fatter than me”

Jealousy and envy are part of human nature. You don’t want your friends to lose weight because you would then be jealous of them… and envy them. Instead of loosing weight yourself you would choose to try to convince someone else not to do it so that you could continue to feel good about yourself. Shame. That’s the lazy way out. But it also says that you’re already insecure in your own physical appearance. While your friends try to loose weight, you go figure out what it is about yourself that you don’t like. Both parties win.

* “I’m afraid to take the next step…”

Then prepare to stay exactly where you are for the rest of your life. If you don’t take steps… don’t take risks… you will never get anywhere and you will spend the rest of your life beating yourself for the things you missed out on. I know this from personal experience. I have a hard time taking that next step as well. It’s only when I become so disillusioned and so unhappy with where I am that I can’t take it anymore that I do something about it. And it shouldn’t take that long. I look back at many things in my life and say “damn… why didn’t I do that…” Be brave… march onward.

* I’m combining two here: 1) “I go to the movies to try and imagine what life would be like if only I could fit in” and 2) “I make everyone believe that I like to be different, but really I just don’t know how to fit in”

Fit in where? Into what? The masses? The general public? The sheep? You know…there’s a reason they call the masses sheep: you can’t tell one apart from the other. When did this become a good thing? There are places in the world where conformity is required. I bet those people would love to do anything but fit in. What makes you different from the next person is what makes you worth knowing. Why would someone want to spend any time getting to know you if they could just get to know your neighbor and accomplish the same thing? And to the person who wrote the second secret listed above: when you TRY to be different, you end up being no different at all. If you’re different, you’re different. If you’re not, you’re not. No amount of trying will change that… you can’t force yourself to be something you’re not. Give up the trying and maybe you’ll find out who you REALLY are.

* “All of my life people have told me I’m not special… I’m very easy to replace. After 43 years it has finally sunk in. I finally get it.”

I’m hoping that what has finally sunk in is that they were wrong. I’m hoping you realize that when people tell you you’re easy to replace it usually means the exact opposite. It’s a scare-tactic created to make you feel like they are the only ones who’d ever want you… so you won’t leave them alone… without anyone to replace you. If, on the other hand, you have taken what they told you to be true… if it’s “sunk in” that you’re not special, then they were right… you’re not. Two-thirds of how people see you is based on how you see yourself. If you’ve given in and decided you’re not special, then that’s how other people will also see you… as not special. It’s entirely in your hands.

* “I change my hair so often to make up for the fact that I won’t be able to change who I am”

Who you are is completely up to you. If you can’t change who you are, it’s because YOU either don’t know who you are or because you simply won’t change who you are. You can do it, but you have to be the one who makes the change. Other people can’t change you… society can’t change you… and your hair can’t change you. If you have so little insight into yourself that you think a hairstyle is what makes you who you are, then you’re probably right… you won’t be able to change it.

* “I hate people who remind me of myself”

This one is so obvious it’s almost not worth commenting on. If you hate people who remind you of yourself, then you obviously hate yourself. But I think you already figured that out… didn’t you? How about instead of expending energy on hating others, try expending that energy on not hating yourself. Violent criminals often victimize people who remind them of themselves. So it would appear to me that your options are either 1) learn to not hate yourself, or 2) get ready to end up in prison. At least in prison you could vent that hatred towards the guys who bend you over the sink after lights out.

The Deadly Secrets

* “I’ve written my suicide note four times and never followed through because I didn’t like the way my letter sounded”

That’s not why you never followed through. You don’t really want to commit suicide or else you would have by now. When someone REALLY wants to die, they die. If you REALLY wanted to kill yourself, you’d be dead by now. You’ve written a suicide note four times and never followed through with it because you don’t want to die - you want attention. That’s why you shared this little secret with the rest of the world, right? Granted, you will get no direct feedback or attention from it. But you know that people will read it and think about you in some way. It works… that’s why people talk about suicide instead of actually doing it. See… I’m giving you the attention you long for right now. There are other ways to go about getting attention. Try one of those. I know that if you ever get to the point where you actually want to die, you probably will… and you won’t give a rat’s ass how your letter sounds.

* “I cried for Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars episode III… but not for the tsunami victims”

Of course you didn’t cry for the tsunami victims. That event did not affect you in any way personally. You cried for Anakin Skywalker because you could see on the screen what happened to him. Granted, it’s just a movie. But you saw it directly. If you had been floating above the tsunami disaster area and actually witnessed people dying you probably would have cried. I heard about the beheading of Nick Berg (spelling?) on the news. I thought “wow… that’s sick”, but it didn’t really register any true emotion from me. Then I actually watched the beheading of Nick Berg. Totally different emotional experience. Until it hits home, tragedy does not usually affect us. It’s just the way people are.

* “I agreed to get an abortion in order for my now ex-husband to marry me. I should have kept my baby and murdered him instead”

I’m not going to get into the abortion debate here. Your ex-husband asked you to murder someone else in exchange for his love. He was never worth loving. Anyone who would ask you to do that isn’t… plain and simple. I’m not saying I’m against abortion or for it… my mind isn’t made up just yet. But what I do know is that the baby you aborted was part of you. The ex-husband was not. You destroyed a part of yourself for someone else. I assume from the language of your writing that you “agreed” to get the abortion… it wasn’t your first choice. You let someone else have dominion over your physical body… and now you will never get back what you threw away. Sacrifice comes at a cost… sometimes you loose everything. The husband is replaceable… your own child is not.

* “I wished on a dandelion for my husband to die”

Instead of making wishes that someone else would die, why don’t you just leave your husband? I obviously don’t know the circumstances surrounding your death wish, but isn’t the simple solution obvious? You know the saying about guns: ‘guns don’t kill people… people kill people’. Guess what? Dandelions don’t kill people, either. You could kill him. Or (and I know this will sound crazy) you could just walk away from the situation. Don’t be overly dramatic and ignorant - if you’re not happy, just leave. It really is that simple.

* “In a crowd” … “I always wonder which of us will die first”

I really don’t know what to say to this one. On one hand I suppose I could write it off to morbid fascination. But on the other I have to wonder why you would even care about something like that. If you knew which of the people in the crowd was going to die first would it change anything? Would you do anything different? Would you try to change it? If it was a stranger would you tell them? Maybe you’re just afraid of death yourself. Thinking about the deaths of other people helps you not have to think about your own death. Or maybe it really is just a morbid fascination. By the way… do you watch reality TV by any chance?

* “I faked sorrow at my dad’s funeral, when I, in fact, was selfishly happy I didn’t have to wipe his butt anymore”

So you’re selfish… big shocker. Most people are. Whether we admit it or not, we’re all really only looking out for one person: ourselves. If you hated having to wipe your dad’s butt then I’m not surprised you found relief in his death. I mean… he didn’t do anything for you other than shit the place up, right? It’s not like HE wiped YOUR ass for years when you were little or anything.

Conclusion

If you’re still with me after all of this, I’m shocked… but grateful. It took me hours to write this, so I can only imagine how much time you sacrificed to read it. And now that we’re done, you no doubt have decided whether or not you agree with some of what I’ve written or have instead decided to write me off as just another cynical, jaded kid who thinks he’s got it all figured out. I’m sure there will be decisions made on both sides of that fence.

Let me end this writing with an explanation. I do not consider myself cynical, bitter, or jaded. I consider myself a realist. At least that’s what I strive to be. Sometimes reality is a tough pill to swallow. Sometimes it sucks. And sometimes it makes us feel stupid for ever having ignored it. My reality may not be the same as yours, either. You may read some of these “secrets” and have a totally different take on them than I do. That’s good. We like differences of opinion… it keeps things from getting boring. Ultimately your take is yours and no one else’s, just like your reality. I called these as I saw them. Some people may read this and think ‘wow… he’s really bitter’… or ‘I had no idea you were so jaded’. Just keep these last words in mind: we shape our own reality… so it’s always going to be prettier than the true picture. Truth is sometimes ugly and painful… but it’s almost always the best route to take.

Posted in Advice, Human Nature, Noteworthy

Related Posts

• Look Ma’… I’m Dead
• Screw Cheese… I’ve got Reisen
• A Box Box
• Nope… I Didn’t See Anything
• Video: Is That Natural?

Never miss another post! Subscribe to my RSS feed!