A drunk woman came to visit me at work today. I didn’t know her and I’d never even seen her before today. But by the time she left, not only was I her new best friend, but I was also the only male on the entire planet whom she did not hate. Too bad she ended up on my “stupid drunk bitch” list.
Why do drunk people always feel the need to share their drunkenness with the rest of the world?
My ex-friend’s ex-girlfriend was like that too. She would go out and get shitfaced drunk and then, at 2 in the morning, call every person in her cell phone. Seriously… she would go down the list of contacts in her phone and call every single person. Why? I have no idea. Apparently it was to share her intoxicated state with all of us who’d missed out. The best part is, months after my ex-friend and her were no longer together, I still got a drunken phone call from her one night. TAKE MY NUMBER OUT OF YOUR CELL PHONE… IMMEDIATELY.
My favorite drunk is the one who plasters themselves into a stupor and then lays quietly in a puddle of their own vomit… disturbing no one.
