Is That Suit an Armani?
August 28, 2005
I was minding my own business today at work. I was actually breaking something intentionally… but that’s another story for another day. I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. I ignored it at first, but it kept moving. Against my better judgement, I looked out the window towards the moving object. No… it wasn’t what you’re expecting. It wasn’t the mouse.
It was Buffalo Bill.
Not the gun-slingin’, boot-wearin’, shoot ‘em dead Buffalo Bill. Oh no… I’m talking about the skin-wearing, lipstick-smearing, put-the-lotion-in-the-fucking-basket Buffalo Bill.
When I looked, he smiled and pointed at the object I was destroying… and then moved on. No doubt he had been caressing my ass through the space between us and thinking to himself “oh yes… ohhh yes” as he tried to guess which color thread would blend in the best when it came to sewing my buns onto his flesh suit.
Queue up the song “Goodbye Horses” by Q Lazzarus, tuck your genitalia between your legs, and run for your life.
Bill is back.
Posted in Characters, Humor
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June 29th, 2006 at 8:30 pm
[…] That being said… if I’d done the right thing… I’d have tied that woman to her kids, put them all in the laundry room, and done a load of whites with bleach. Or maybe I’d sell them to Buffalo Bill for a little extra cash. Then maybe she’d think twice about unleashing her horned embryos onto the rest of the world. […]
June 29th, 2006 at 8:32 pm
[…] First it was Buffalo Bill… now The Lady Chablis. I think Springfield is slowly becoming a Mecca for eccentric, semi-famous folks. Or maybe I’m just noticing these things to try and make Springfield more interesting than it really is. […]