An Expert in the Field of Not Being an Expert

August 30, 2005

You’re an expert on something, right? I mean… everyone is an expert on something, be it finance, computers, artistic forms of expression, science, etc. Someone out there right now can name off every Beanie Babie that was ever made. That person is a Beanie Babie expert. Living right next door to Beanie Babie expert is another person who can rattle of presidential election results dating back to the birth of our nation. That person is an election expert. And down the street from me lives a woman who can tell you the license plate number of every bus in the Springfield Metro bus system. She’s a license plate expert.

Regardless of it’s relevance or importance to other people, we’re all proud to be an expert of some kind. Not only do we revel in our own expertise, but we also take any and every opportunity to share said expertise with others. Whether it’s for the simple purpose of spreading knowledge to others or the more egotistical “look how smart I am” routine, we all find as many chances as possible to flex our mental muscles in the presence of others.

Most people are wise enough to keep their muscles shrouded under the clothing of silence unless there really is something worth showing off. I mean… how embarrassing would it be to head down to the gym sporting a new tank top only to have the smallest, least defined biceps in the entire city. For the casual gym rat, embarrassment probably wouldn’t be an issue. But if you’ve ever been to a gym you’ve seen the person who you know, because of the way they walk or talk or behave, just thinks they’re the best thing since sliced bread. The embarrassment hits when someone who looks even better in a tank top shows up and rightfully assumes a spot on top of the “look at my arms” ladder.

The same can be applied to mental muscle. When you know a lot about a subject, it’s easy to slip into a revealing tank top and let your brain flex for the entire world to see. You want to share what you know and you want to establish yourself as a source of knowledge on your given subject of expertise. If you’re a math whiz, you want people to come to you with math problems. If you can hack your computer with all limbs tied behind your back you want people to request your help with their computer. When someone can’t remember the capital of Spain, you hold your breath and wait for them to ask you so you can enlighten them. People love to be sources of knowledge. Don’t deny it. You smile a great big brainy smile on the inside when someone comes to you for help or advice.

The art of being a “good” expert is the ability to acknowledge when you are out of your field. Let’s say Ms. Math Whiz can calculate the density of a nuclear isotope in under five seconds… but can’t write a coherent sentence to save her life. When her friend comes to her to proofread a research paper, Ms. Math Whiz should say “I’m not the person to help you with this”. Pretending to know something that you don’t know is not only dishonest, but it also diminishes your standing as a responsible conveyer of information. The first time you get busted pretending to know something you don’t is the last time you’re sought out as a source of information.

That being said, why do so many people feel the need to establish themselves as a jack-of-all-trades?

It’s true that there are some people out there who know a little about a lot. That is to say that they don’t really specialize in anything… but they know a little about many many different things. It could even be argued that all of us are in some ways this person. You may not know how to calculate the density of a nuclear isotope, but you know what a nuclear isotope is. You may not be able to pick an independent clause
out of a sentence, but you can spot a run on from a mile away.

If you don’t know something, don’t pretend to simply because you’re afraid of saying ‘I don’t know’. Better yet, don’t say anything at all if you know full and well that what you’re about to say is complete and total BS. If people are having a conversation about a topic you know nothing about, don’t fabricate knowledge or facts to ‘fit in’ to the conversation. Instead of talking… try listening. Take in the new information or ask questions. If you can’t be bothered to listen, try changing the subject to something you can talk about. But for the love of the gods, avoid “parting knowledge” that you do not have.

For one, the folks having the conversation who actually do know the material will most likely be able to tell that you are full of it. I mean… that’s common sense. The person who sits behind a desk all day knows nothing about working in a coal mine. If two coal miners are talking about work, the desk sitter is the last person who should be talking about working in a coal mine. The coal miners aren’t stupid… they will know that you have no idea what you’re talking about. I hate to say it… but it just makes you look stupid.

But that’s not the only repercussion of false knowledge sharing. When you make things up, it calls into question every other thing that you purport to know about. Suppose you walk into a discussion on egg farming. Having grown up on an egg farm, you have valuable information to add to the conversation. But since you decided to know everything about working in a coal mine yesterday, when you obviously wouldn’t know a coal mine if you fell down a well into one, your knowledge about the egg farming industry is dismissed as more made up yapping.

No one knows everything. And while it’s possible (and quite common) to know a lot about a wide variety of subjects, it becomes dreadfully obvious when someone is a falsifier. And no one likes a falsifier… do they?

Just give it up, buddy… you’re not fooling anyone. *wink wink*

Posted in Human Nature, Noteworthy

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