Event II: The Job
September 20, 2005
If you’ve read my blog before, you know that I talk about my job a lot. It’s not really because I enjoy it so much, but instead, because it’s really the only social interaction I have on a regular basis. And since my whole thing here is looking at human interaction and human nature, I find a lot of “inspiration” for my writing at work… from co-workers… strangers… and people I meet through work.
My schedule usually officially consisted of about 45 hours a week. However, it was rare that I actually got out of there at the end of the week with 45 hours. Typically, it was closer to 50 or more. And I took it home with me. Whether it was doing paperwork, research, or some other project, I always had something from work strung about my apartment. Work called me at home regularly. I was expected to participate in company functions… company projects… and company trips. My whole life really did revolve around work because I had so little else going on to occupy my time.
You’ll notice I’m using the past tense. I quit last week the day before I went on vacation. Before you say it, I know that people quit their jobs all the time. It’s not really ’stop the presses’ kind of news. But for me, it kinda is.
Besides the fact that work had become my life, it was also a huge investment of my time. I’d been with that company for almost four years. I’ve put in countless hours of overtime… spent the night at the office… traveled to other states… postponed major events in my personal life… missed numerous family events… and skipped out on major events in the lives of my friends all for that job. I have literal scars on my body from one project at work and spent six weeks on my back after another injury up there. And all of the people I know in Springfield are my co-workers.
I had planned on using my vacation as “down time” to reflect and decide if it was all worth it. I figured I had time to think things out a bit. On the Sunday before I was to leave for my vacation I got a call from my supervisor’s supervisor (on a Sunday… I know… how odd). She was calling me to tell me I was being promoted again… to the same position my supervisor occupied. There was a certain excitement in the promotion itself. For one, it definitely meant more money. And besides… who doesn’t like getting promoted? Haha. The catch was… I was also being transferred. To where, you ask? Get this… Wichita, Kansas .
I’ll be honest. I’ve never been to Wichita. I’ve never even been to Kansas, unless you count the Kansas side of Kansas City. But what do you think of when you hear Kansas? Me… I think of Dorothy and her ruby slippers… tornados… and flat farm land. What do you do when you think of all of those things? Me… I cringe.
I had already been having doubts about staying with the company. I don’t personally agree with a lot of their positions, direction, and decisions as a company. And while I’ll be the first one to say that you don’t have to agree with everything a company does to work for them, I was none the less having a hard time wrapping my mind around a lot of it. If there’s one thing I know about myself, it’s that I can’t give myself completely to something I’m not on board with. I also think it’s important for a company to invest time and money into people who are on board with the company’s direction. So my decision to leave was good for everyone involved.
When I told my supervisor that I was quitting, she wasn’t nearly as surprised as I thought she’d be. She said she’d halfway expected it at some time because she had noticed me pulling away from the company over the last couple of months. We both agreed that the timing wasn’t the best… but the phone call from her boss on Sunday had made the timing necessary. I wanted to take my leave of the place before they had invested more time and energy into moving me to Kansas. When my supervisor passed the news on to her supervisor, she wasn’t surprised either. She (my boss’s boss) said she’d even told her husband that night that something just “didn’t seem right” about the phone call she’d had with me. I guess I wasn’t as excited about the promotion as she’d expected.
Surprisingly, I wasn’t actually let go from the company after I quit. Instead, they treated it as a “requested demotion”… or something like that. I’m still employed by the same company. But now I’m literally at the bottom of the totem pole in the exact same position I was in when I started almost 4 years ago. My supervisor said she’d worked out a deal to let me stay on until I found something else and so that I could continue to keep my benefits. I’m grateful for that deal.
But now I must begin the arduous task of finding a new job. On one hand, I’d rather pull my own teeth out with a rusted pair of pliers than job hunt. But on the other hand, change is good… and I’m in desperate need of some. I’m thinking I might actually even try to put that expensive psych degree that I got to use. Or maybe I’ll just be a bum and live off “the system” for awhile… get me some food stamps… government cheese… and live in my parents basement for a while. Maybe I’ll move somewhere new and start over…
I just don’t know what I’m going to do. And I’m ok with that. But if you know anyone who’s hiring, let them know that I’m looking… haha.
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