While working on my personal webpage (which I’ll eventually post here… when it’s a little more complete), I realized something about a phrase we’ve all noticed on shop doors at one time or another:
No shirt? No shoes? No service.
I understand the requirements. A shirt is needed to keep the rest of us from 1) having to see something scary or 2) feeling inadequate and fat… depending on the shirtless person in question. Shoes are required to keep the floor free of nasties like athlete’s foot and what not. And besides… have you ever looked at the floor in a gas station… or at Wal-Mart? Would you really want to come into direct contact with that anyway?
Here is my question: Why don’t they require pants?
Do they assume pants are already included? Do they assume that no one would go out into public with their privates made public? We all know what assuming makes you…
Now I’m not really up to speed with my knowledge of the legal field, but could a store sporting one of these signs legally keep you from coming in if you were free-rangin’ it below the belt? I’m sure there are rules on the books about walking around with your junk exposed… right? If I went to the gas station wearing shoes… and a shirt… but no pants… could I get in?
I’m not sure. But one thing I do know: stores would stop putting merchandise below waist-level if bare-assed folks were walking around… bending over to get that thing off the bottom shelf…
