Tagged - ‘Cause I’m Special

October 12, 2005

I’ve been tagged.  No… not like a deer, even though I can think of a couple of people out there who wouldn’t mind being able to hunt me down and shoot me on a moment’s notice.  Here… lemme hold the target for you.

Instead of having a tracking device pierced through my ear, Dagny has chosen me to go next in a round of “what makes me special”.  Since there are different kinds of “special” I’ll just list five of the things that make me special with a tiny hint of ed.  Get it… special ed?  *Sigh*.  Ok… I’ll get to the point.  In no particular order, my five things:

1.  I smell everything

Yeah… that’s right.  I smell everything.  They laugh at me at work… at home… anywhere I get caught taking a whiff of something.  I’m not exactly sure why I do it.  I suppose it’s out of curiosity.  I fully believe that, if you’re going to experience something, you might as well do it all the way.  That includes sensory experience.  Why half-ass it?  If I see something new… I pick it up… and smell it.  That’s three senses out of the way already (sight, touch, and smell).  I mean… is it honestly that strange?  Haha.  You’d be surprised what things smell like sometimes.  For instance… a roll of gift wrap smells a lot like a new textbook.  A cherry limeade smells like one of those pink biscuits they put at the bottom of a urinal (guys… you know what I’m talking about)… not that I’ve actually picked up one of those biscuit things and smelled it.  But they’re “touch” activated or something so when uhh… something…. you know… touches them… they smell.  Wow… I’d better stop before I scare people off.  But the point is… I smell everything.  Should I ever be plunged into total darkness, I’ll be thanking my lucky stars that I can sniff my way around the world.

2.  I sing Opera-style when I’m alone

I’m not saying I’m good at it.  Not by any stretch of the imagination.  But what started as a joke between my sister and I has turned into a full-time make-myself-laugh hobby.  We were on our way back from The Texas Renaissance Festival one year, and, somehow, a copy of The Bee Gee’s Greatest Hits ended up in the CD player.  Since it’s next to impossible to understand 2/3 of what those guys are saying, my sister and I were jokingly making noises that sounded like the words.  As we got into it - and louder - it turned into an all out opera-style Bee Gees sing-a-long.  We laughed our asses off the entire way home at our own stupidity.  So now… when I’m alone in the car… I bust out with the operaesque vocals to whatever I happen to be listening to.  No song is off limits.  I’ve opera’d everything from Duran Duran… to The Smiths… to Three Days Grace… up to, and including, System of a Down.  I’m actually pretty good at doing Evanescence and Disturbed.  And no… there’s not supposed to be any pun involved with the use of the word “disturbed”… haha.

3.  I can’t stand to be touched by strangers

If I had one true “hang-up”, I’d say it was being touched by someone I don’t know.  My hang-up doesn’t just stop at being touched.  And it doesn’t just stop with strangers, either.  I can’t eat or drink after other people (or allow them to eat or drink after me).  In this case, “other people” includes every person on the face of the planet, including my family.  Of course I’ve been tricked before.  For instance, a girl I work with thought it would be real, real funny to take a big ol’ swig out of my drink when I wasn’t looking… and then wait until I’d finished it off to tell me about it.  She got the biggest kick out of it.  I almost vomited.  I don’t like touching people until I’m fairly comfortable with them, either.  A friend of mine put his arm around my shoulder once… before we were friends.  The reaction he received was bad enough that he was afraid to touch me for years after that (not that he makes a habit of touching me now or anything… haha).  I think my disdain stems from not knowing where those folks have been.  I’ve spent an awful lot of time talking to people about all of the odd things they do.  I’ve built a mental list of all the nasty places people go and all the nasty things they do with all sorts of unsavory folks.  And I guess I just don’t want to join them in their nasty place with their nasty person in a six degrees of Kevin Bacon kind of way.  Like I said… it’s a hang-up.  It’s not rational and I’m aware of this.  But don’t act like you don’t have a hang-up of some kind yourself ;)

4.  I read Tarot cards

Ms. Cleo ain’t got nuthin’ on this biotch.  Well… except in the big, honkin’ fraud category.  She’s got me beat there.  But I’m actually pretty good at reading the cards.  Keep in mind:  anyone who professes to tell you exact names, places, times, dates, etc from reading Tarot cards is taking you for a ride.  They don’t work like that.  Despite the countless books on reading cards that will tell you exactly what each and every card means, this just isn’t how the process works.  Tarot cards are usually created with simply drawn images while still containing a lot of detail.  Objects in the background… colors… numbers… expressions… all of these little intricacies are where the true answers of the cards are found.  And let’s not forget that each of these intricacies means something a little different depending on where in the spread the card falls (”the spread” being the layout in which the reading is being done).  I don’t put so much merit in reading Tarot cards that I base life decisions on them… my rational and logic override anything found in a Tarot card.  But it’s still fun.  I had friends bring strangers over to my apartment for readings on numerous occasions… I predicted my sister’s old boyfriend… I had a friend in Texas call me several times after I moved, begging me to do readings for her over the phone (which just isn’t possible, Ms Cleo… sorry)… and I hit so many nails on the head with a friend of my sister’s that she thought my sister had shared all of her deepest, darkest secrets with me before the reading.  What can I say… I’m perceptive *wink, wink*.

5.  I can talk just like Smeagol (Gollum) from the Lord of the Rings movies

Of course… I was using that voice way before that deformed creature in the movie was.  I should sue or something.  But yes, Smeagol is one of the many voices I can list on my resume.  I usually use the voice to irritate people.  Cause let’s face it… even when they were recounting his tragic story in the movie… you wanted to shove your foot into that thing’s mouth to shut it up.  It’s an irritating voice… and so I use it for just that purpose.  I can also do several foreign accents, Stuart from MadTV, and my sister’s favorite… Chewbacca.  If all else falls through I’ll start making and selling those tapes people buy to put on their answering machines.

Now I know I’m supposed to pass this honor on to someone else… but I’m a big ol’ blog loser.  I don’t really know anyone else to tag :(  I’d tag Mandy… but she just took her blog down.  Come on Mandy… put it back up… lemme tag ya!  I can’t be the last person… it’s too painful… like getting picked last in P.E. or something…

Edit:  Thanks to my guilt trip, Mandy has reopened her blog.  TAG… Mandy’s it.

Posted in Humor, Personal

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