Dump & Move
September 26, 2006
On my way to work a few weeks ago, my CD player started throwing a fit and decided it didn’t want to play the CD I’d just inserted into it. I tried, unsuccessfully, to curse it into complying with my request. But when that didn’t work, I chose to do something I hadn’t done in almost a year: I turned the radio on. What’s funny… the station it was tuned to was the same one that I listened to in the morning with a guy I used to work with several years ago. We’d sit in the parking lot, waiting for exactly 7 am before going inside, and listen to Lex & Terry on the radio.
It was a pleasant surprise to hear Lex & Terry still on after all this time. Seriously… I wouldn’t have guessed that a show featuring a segment called “Drunk Bitch Friday” would have a lot of staying power. And yes… DBF is still part of the show. Haha. Have you listened to Lex & Terry before? If so, you know all about the countless people who call in to get advice from these guys. If not, it’s pretty simple: countless people call in to get advice from these guys. See? Simple. While I can’t argue with most of their advice, their only real talent for helping people is that they’re both quite blunt. They don’t really have a lot of insight and they don’t dig very deep into the problems of their listeners. But they won’t sugar coat things or play nice. They tell it like it is, which is a quality I can appreciate.
After a few weeks of getting reacquainted with the show, I have come to the realization that 95% of the problems people call in with are relationship-based. I can’t say I’m surprised. Maybe a little disappointed that there isn’t much variety. But certainly not surprised. I did a little thinking and I came up with a way for them to plow through more calls and perhaps broaden the variety of the calls at the same time. Two birds, one stone.
They need a recording that can be played at the drop of hat. You know the ones… all radio stations use them. This one should be simple. Three small words: Dump and Move.
It should come as no surprise to those who’ve read RMA in the past that my philosophy would be simple, direct, and, in my opinion, honest. Look at the posts in the “Relationships” category. I’m not a big fan. I’m glad that some folks can make them work. But judging from the skyrocketing divorce rate, the frequency of multiple marriages, and the hordes of people calling in to radio shows, talk shows, and writing advice columnists, I’d say my initial assertion still holds true: relationships are often more trouble than they’re worth.
If you’ve got a good relationship, you know it. They’re few and far between but they do exist. And I’m not talking about one that just “works”. A rock and some running water will work if you want your clothes clean. But one of those fancy new washing machines that does everything but actually make new clothes for you is a good washer. A relationship needs to do more than work or be convenient for it to be a good relationship. Just because everyone knows their job and takes care of their part of the relationship doesn’t mean it’s a good setup.
So how do you know if your relationship is a good one or not? Well… for starters… people in a good relationship don’t feel the need to call in to Lex & Terry for help. Or Dr. Phil. Or Dear Abby. People in a good relationship have the communication skills and the openness in their relationship to be able to fix problems themselves. They don’t need an outside perspective to show them the way. If you can’t talk to your significant other about things, who can you talk to? That’s the person you’re supposed to be closer to than anyone else. But you need Lex & Terry to help you?
Bottom line: if your relationship has degraded to the point where you need to seek advice from anyone who will listen, it’s over. Sure… maybe things can be “patched up”. But for how long? If the connection and the communication isn’t there now, will it ever be? You’ll be calling or writing or talking to someone else before too long. Save yourself the time and the hassle of trying to fix a broken record and just move on to something else. Dump & Move… Dump & Move.
Your personal happiness and well-being are far too important to sacrifice for a crappy relationship that gives you nothing but reasons to call in to help lines. Work your problems out on your own, or move on and find someone with whom you can communicate. Maybe you need a little alone time to sort things out. But if you’re sure you really want a relationship, one can be found with another person that you can talk to. It may take some time to find them. It may not be the next person you meet. But if you put your instant gratification urges aside for a while, you might be surprised what you can find.
Life’s too short. Dump & Move, caller… Dump & Move. No one wants their tombstone to read “Loving brother, friend, and frequent Lex & Terry caller”…
Besides… why would you ask Lex & Terry when you could just ask me instead?
Posted in Advice, Human Nature, Relationships
March 25th, 2007 at 9:15 pm
Hahaha! I liked that. Short and sweet. Dump and move.
You said: “If you can’t talk to your significant other about things, who can you talk to? That’s the person you’re supposed to be closer to than anyone else.”
Totally agree. I’ve always wondered about people who are able to say more to their co-workers, who aren’t even their close friends, than to their significant others. The advice to marry your best friend seems to make some sense…hmmm.
One of my co-workers once said to me, “I thought the whole purpose of getting married was to be able to be with your significant other and still have the some amount of time to do the things you want to do before getting married.” Obviously this person miscalculated…
March 26th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
“Obviously this person miscalculated…” Haha!! No kidding, huh?!