Reader Meet Author

If you subscribe to the Reader Meet Author feed, you may have noticed a post a few days ago that went live… and then was no longer available by the time it hit the feed.  I’d written it in the “heat” of frustration and mere moments after hitting the “Publish” button reconsidered.  Knee-jerk posting has happened to most of us at some point and little good usually comes from ranting written “in the moment”.

But the post in question did have a message behind it that I’d still like to talk about:  the importance of convictions, integrity, and values.

Linkin Park - Breaking the Habit

At any given moment in time, most people would be able to rattle off a long list of convictions and values by which they claim to operate.  Some of those values come from our society.  Some come from our upbringing.  And still others are born from the experiences we deal with on an individual level.  Collectively we call these convictions, values, beliefs, and moral attitudes our principles.  And because of the diverse origins of those principles, each of us has a different “set” that we operate under.

The principles that we’ve established for ourselves should be at the very core of everything that we do.  You should be able to trace your actions back to, and identify them with, one or more of the principles you live by.  Even the most basic of actions - like brushing your teeth - can be traced back in this way.  Most of us put some value in cleanliness and hygiene.  That’s ultimately why we brush our teeth.  Right?

But our principles should also guide us when we’re making the big decisions.  In fact, never are our principles and values as important as they become when a big choice must be made.  If you’re convicted to a certain belief, those convictions don’t go out the window as soon as a tough call has to made.  I’m not saying that there’s no such thing as an exception.  But I am saying that those exceptions should be made only in the most extreme of situations… situations that, realistically, most of us will never be confronted with.

Despite what others may think… or say… or do… tossing conviction out at the drop of a hat is a bad idea.  Not only is it a measure of your character, but it also sets a bad precedent for yourself and others.  Your character is partially defined by your resolution to stick to your guns and take a stand for the things you believe (some might call that integrity).  Without character… what are we?  And if we’re dropping our convictions whenever things get tough, it sets us up to repeat the same thing over and over again:  ”I’ve turned a blind eye to my values before… one more time won’t hurt.”  But it also tells other people that we’re easily swayed and, unfortunately, easily manipulated:  “He’s not that serious about those beliefs… we can break him down.”

So you have a tough choice to make.  Big deal.  So you’re afraid that other people won’t understand.  Big deal.  So you want to do what makes everyone else happy.  Big deal.

Even if you have to stand alone, doing so is more important than having the support of others.  If something is important to you, it should be important to you regardless of what other people think about it.  Bending your convictions to the will of others completely defeats the purpose of having any convictions.  And without convictions, it’s so easy to get lost in the sea of the mob majority and “going with the flow”.  Without our convictions, we have little to define us or guide our actions.  We get lost.

Who ever said it was better to go with the flow?  Who said the convictions or beliefs of others are more important than your own?

I’ll tell you who.  Someone without any.

I don’t care what your beliefs are.  I don’t care what values rule your life.  I don’t even care if they run contrary to social expectations, norms, or human nature in general.

I only care that you stand by those beliefs.  Even if means standing alone.