Comments on: Where’s the Trust, Man?

By: Derick

Derick — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 12:51:18 +0000

@KT: You’re absolutely right. I dunno how many times I had that exact conversation with patients when I worked at the hospital. It’s easier said than done, but focusing on the positive aspects of our lives would probably make us all a little happier. And if you’re talking about relationships in particular that’s even harder:

We expect our friends to be human and have faults. But we expect our lovers to be perfect… and to treat us perfectly. If a friend pisses you off, it’s easier to forgive and forget because they’re allowed to be flawed. Lovers aren’t. Dated: 7/12/04

@Sarah: Good point. Maybe we’re so accustomed to looking at everything in our lives from a fiscal/time management perspective that we let that thinking spill over into our interpersonal relationships as well.

I guess on the contrary however, having your trust broke in a relationship could cost you 6 months of pain/healing. The next relationship you have, if you give love another chance, could bring you 40 years of true happiness…

That’s a great perspective! I only wish we could train ourselves to think like that about more things. We probably wouldn’t even be having this conversation if we did think that way about more things.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 11:51:35 +0000

Maybe it partially comes down to which affects us more? My car getting broken into cost me a LOT of time and money, while having my drivers license returned only saved me $15 and 30 minutes. Just a thought.

I guess on the contrary however, having your trust broke in a relationship could cost you 6 months of pain/healing. The next relationship you have, if you give love another chance, could bring you 40 years of true happiness…

By: KT

KT — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 05:25:43 +0000

Well, we all know that it’s alot easier to remember the bad things that happen than the good things that happen. Yeah, Sarah’s car got a rock throwin into her, and yeah, someone went out of their way to give her her drivers liscense back. And what part of that took the most effect on her? Her getting her car broken into. Negative things, like your trust being broken, are the things that stick to people the most. That is why everyone is so untrusting. Kinda like people who are screwed over in bad relationships. Why do they decide that they don’t want to be in relationships anymore? Because their trust has bee violated. It dosent matter how many good relationships they’ve been in…the bad ones stick to them the most.

It’s kind of sad if you think about it…the greatest things that could ever happen in a person’s life could easily be overtaken by something as minor as getting a $20 bill stolen out of their car because they left it unlocked. That’s really sad..

By: Derick

Derick — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 05:12:13 +0000

Haha… you’re right! That’s the best kind of pizza :P

By: Sarah

Sarah — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 04:24:32 +0000

I try to get over that too, and I would say there are still days where I am even too trusting. I’m deffinately with you on pizza not sucking, particularly Domino’s, free Dominos, because the delivery boy told you your baby was gonna be retarted!

By: Derick

Derick — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 22:26:20 +0000

@Ben: Yep. You gotta give some love to get some back. That includes link love. I think it’s especially true when you’ve been inspired by something someone else has done or something you’ve seen/heard. Even if you don’t directly reference what they’ve said it’s nice to show appreciation for inspiration. That’s why I try to start my inspired posts with a brief background on what got me thinking about whatever it is I’m sharing (it’s not just to fluff posts… I promise… haha).

@Sarah: I can totally understand where you’re coming from. And I think that mentality is where a lot of mistrust in a lot of people stems from. But if you broaden the scope beyond people, that line of thinking would mean just about everything sucks:

* There’s a few bad cars out there… so all cars suck
* There’s a few bad songs out there… so all music sucks
* There’s a few bad pizzas out there… so all pizza sucks
* Etc… etc… etc…

And we know all music and pizzas don’t suck (I’m not so sure about the cars). That’s why I’m challenging myself to get over that perception because I think the “once scorned always scorned” philosophy is behind my trust issues as well.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 15:33:04 +0000

Once you’ve been burned by “society” (people you don’t know) multiple times, it’s hard to trust. Even once you have moments like your sister, where someone who doesn’t even know you goes out of their way to help you, the memory’s of being hurt still stand out more.

When I had that rock put through my car window, I couldn’t trust anyone. I thought everyone was out to get me, since I had been attacked at random, not by someone who even knew me. A stranger went out of their way to get me my drivers license which had been stolen from my car and they had found it on the side of the road. My trust in “people” was not restored…

By: Ben G.

Ben G. — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 13:18:26 +0000

I think one thing that must be realized by bloggers is that generally speaking, the more they link out, the more others will link in. It’s anti-intuitive but it’s true. But you know the reason I link out whenever I can? Because I know how warm and fuzzy I feel when someone links to me and I like making others feel that way ;).