The Fear of Public Speaking

June 14, 2007

MY, a regular reader and commentator at Reader Meet Author asked:

You hold classes, correct? Do you ever get nervous? Were you always a good public speaker?

The short answers to those questions are: not anymore, yes, and no.  But I decided to elaborate a bit on the subject because public (or even private) speaking is something that bothers a lot of people.

It is true that I used to lead classes at the hospital.  Between that, presentations at school, meetings at work, and my generally chatty nature, I’ve had a lot of experience speaking in front of groups.  And while I no longer have a fear of the crowd, it wasn’t always that way.  In fact… I still get a little nervous when I know I’ll be speaking in front of people.

There are several ways you can deal with this sometimes uncomfortable situation.  But the best way to improve your public speaking skills - and rid yourself of the queasy, knee-shaking anticipation that goes along with it - is practice.

I used to lead between 5 - 10 classes a day at the hospital.  I used to participate in or lead meetings at work.  I still run at least one meeting a week at work.  And during my 7 years in college… you can bet your bottom dollar I did more than a few presentations.

But experience isn’t something you can necessarily “work on” or master.  It’s something that has to happen.  So in the meantime,  other than experience, what are some other ways to deal with the fear of public speaking?

1. Remind yourself that it’s just other people that you’re talking to.  What’s the worst thing that could happen?  You stumble on a word?  You forget what you’re going to say?  Your pants fall off or rip?  You give a presentation and realize your fly was down?  Guess what - you’re not the first person to do those things… nor will you be the last.  A big part of overcoming a fear of public speaking is dealing with the fear of shame or embarrassment.
2. Remember that you’re the reason people are listening. As you look out across a room of faces, remind yourself that they’re there to learn what you have teach them.  Remind yourself that the only reason you’re in the situation of having to speak in public is because you have something important to say… and the other people in the room are there to absorb what you know. You know something that other people don’t… and speaking in public gives you the chance to share your knowledge with others.  If anything, public speaking should be a bit of an ego booster!
3. Confidence, confidence, confidence!  This is really the key to public speaking.  It’s part self-esteem, part knowledge, and part perception.  I’ve always said that 2/3 of the way other people see you is directly related to the way you see yourself.  If you stand up in front of a group of people and tell yourself that you’re going to screw up… you probably will.  But if you stand up (or sit down) and tell yourself that you know what you’re talking about and that you’re going to do just fine… you probably will.
4. Preparation is also important.  If you know you’re going to be giving a presentation, leading a group, or conducting a meeting, make sure you’re prepared.  Make sure you know what you’re going to say, the way you’re going to say it, and be prepared to answer questions, should they arise. Sometimes there isn’t time to prepare.  Sometimes you’re put on the spot.  If that’s the case, see #3.
5. Finally… just relax!  If you’re nervous, other people will notice.  And like I said… there’s really not anything to be nervous about.  You’re talking.  It’s something you do every single day of your life already.  Relaxation not only helps you physically deal with the anxiety of speaking in public, but it also shows your audience that you’re cool and collected.  They can focus more on what you’re saying and less on the sound of the butterflies in your stomach or the dry heaves you’re holding back.

Those are a few ways to deal with the fear of public speaking.  But where does it come from?  Why do so many people dread talking, presenting, or even reading in front of others?

As MY suggested in her comment to me, sometimes that fear is based on something that happened to us earlier.  Maybe you were giving a speech in school and messed up.  Or maybe you stumbled on a hard to pronounce word and had to be helped out by the class.

Some people fear public speaking because they fear judgement or ridicule.  Even non-verbal judgement can be fear-inspiring.  Heck… so can perceived judgement that doesn’t even exist.  When you look out over a group of people, do you automatically assume that they’re thinking something negative about you? Do you think they’re paying more attention to the way you look or the way you act than what you’re saying?  Are you afraid they’re questioning your expertise or ability?

Bottom line… the fear of public speaking boils down to insecurity.  People who are confident in themselves and their abilities aren’t as worried about any of the things that scare us about public speaking.  People who are comfortable with themselves 1) don’t worry about what other people think and 2) don’t care.

If you do a search for “public speaking” you’ll find dozens (if not hundreds) of programs and techniques designed to rid people of their fears.  But guess what?  They’re all a waste of time.  Not because they don’t teach you something (I’m sure many of them do).  Not because there aren’t techniques or programs that have successfully helped people get past the fear of public speaking.

They’re a waste of time because the one thing anyone who’s afraid to speak in front of groups can do to make the ordeal more enjoyable is work on their confidence and security.  All of the fears and apprehensions about other people and their watching eyes melts away when you feel confident about yourself.

So the next time you have to speak in front of others, try focusing on yourself.  Forget the other people and what they’re thinking or doing.  Pretend they don’t even exist. Focus all of your energies on yourself, your ability to pull the speaking engagement off, and the reasons why you’re the one speaking and you’ll do just fine.

That’s what I think about public speaking.  But what do you think?  How do you deal with speaking in front of groups?  What are some other techniques that you’ve used to make similar situations better?

Posted in Advice, Human Nature, Noteworthy, Reader Submit

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