The Fear of Public Breathing
July 5, 2007
There are a lot of things that make people anxious or nervous: public speaking… love… new jobs… the list could go. Few of these things really bother me. Sure, my initial reaction to these anxiety-causing situations might be apprehension. But I can usually get control of myself quickly and make it through.
But today I came to the realization that a seemingly simple, innocent daily act causes me more anxiety than any of these other situations: walking into a closed bathroom.
Now I’ve expressed my distaste for public bathrooms before. But this is something totally different. Today I realized that the closer I get to a bathroom door… the more nervous I get. Especially when the door is closed.
It’s like playing the lottery. You never really know what’s going to happen when you open that door. Buy a lottery ticket and you could win a million bucks. Open a closed bathroom door and you could die a million deaths.
It doesn’t help that the first thing to greet you upon pushing that door open is a big gust of wind. That wind is usually the first indication of what’s to come. Sometimes it’s nothing. Sometimes it’s something.
Sometimes you get the distinct feeling that someone has tried to cover something up and make it appear as if nothing has happened. And that just makes the whole situation worse.
As I make my way toward the door… the anxiety begins to build. Will I be able to walk right in without so much as a flinch? Will I be confronted with something that I should never have been witness to? Will the people standing around notice that I’ve paused… turned my head to the side… make a pretty face… and trudged in with huge lung-fulls of air?
Is one of the people standing around the masochist that unleashed this assault on my senses?
So needless to say. I’ve mastered public speaking. Even though it’s not something you have to do every day… even though it’s something you normally can just decide to not do… I’ve beaten the fear associated with it.
Now all I have to do is beat down this fear of public breathing. It just sucks that you don’t have a choice in whether or not you breath.
Posted in
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July 7th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
That’s why there are exhaust fans and air-fresheners in bathrooms. Yeah, I know what you mean. It’s usually not a pleasant expectation. But just imagine if you were living in a place where there are only squat toilets constructed with a piece of wood and a hole in the middle located above a trench dug in the ground?
July 10th, 2007 at 3:49 pm
Nice. I have a distaste for closed bathrooms as well, not that I’m a germaphobe or anything. They just aren’t the most pleasant things, especially in public businesses.
July 10th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
OMG! I can’t stand public toilets! Do you have any idea how hard it is to take a potty-training child anywhere in public? Women especially are so gross! If every woman would just sit her butt on the seat, no woman or child would have to fall into their splatter!
July 11th, 2007 at 7:45 am
@MY: “But just imagine if you were living in a place where there are only squat toilets constructed with a piece of wood and a hole in the middle located above a trench dug in the ground”
I’d like to avoid that place at all costs. Please tell me it’s not here in The States?? haha.
@Craig: Haha… you’re right. There’s not much pleasantness going on in public bathrooms, period. Luckily you almost completely avoid touching any surfaces with your bare hands if you know the tricks of the trade :P
@Evonna: HAHAHAHA! I’ve thought the same thing! If there was less hovering going on the overall experience would be better for women. But then… you’d be sharing the surface with hundreds of other butts.
Maybe I should invent a self-disinfecting toilet seat. That could be my ticket to independent wealth… haha.
July 11th, 2007 at 9:00 pm
Actually, I believe the washrooms at the New Orleans Airport had a paper or plastic sleeve which revolved around the toilet seat whenever the user stood up and activated the sensor. I was quite impressed by this invention! Hmmm…you’ll have to invent something more interesting than this! :)
July 11th, 2007 at 9:02 pm
Damn. Someone always beats me.