Stop Dwelling on What You Can’t (or Won’t) Change
July 29, 2007
Warning: I feel a rant coming on…
Even when you’re not looking for it, stress will find you. It’s a normal, natural part of human life. We all get stressed out from time to time. Situations present themselves that, regardless of how we handle them, lead to stress.
So it frustrates the hell out of me when I see people dwelling on things that they either can’t or won’t change: insignificant details… situations outside of their control… or natural parts of life that everyone has to deal with.
I’ve always said that if you can change something, change it… if you can’t, get over it. Nothing gets accomplished by dwelling on the same things over and over and over again while nothing is done about them. There are enough stressors in life that we can deal with. Why do people insist on adding even more to their plate by focusing on the things outside of their control?
Bottom line: who are you helping by investing all of your time and energy into things that you either can’t change, or won’t change? No one.
Do something about the things you can. Get over the rest and move on… or get hung up and spend the rest of your life stressed out over something outside of your control.
Posted in
July 30th, 2007 at 4:21 pm
I’m with you on this. And people tend to love bringing up past “bad” situations that have long been forgotten by everybody else. People, learn to let go.
July 31st, 2007 at 12:23 am
Is this for me? I sure need it right now. Like a swift kick to keep me on track.
August 2nd, 2007 at 7:52 am
I’m very quickly coming to the realization that a lot of folks out there would be a lot less stressed out if they’d just learn to move past this kind of stuff. Maybe we all need a collective “swift kick” to get us all back on track! Haha.
February 15th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
I am a young adult that has been seeking ways to find center, to figure out why I let certain things get to me and then dwell on them for days, even weeks. I’ve been told by many people that I am very mature for my age, and I have a lot of assets, but I often focus on the “bad things.” I often let superficial things get in the way of site, and take things to heart. Is tehre anything wrong with that? Sometimes I think about being cold-hearted and not associating, but then if I do that people will see me a certain way and I don’t want to be labeled? That’s my problem too…I probably shouldn’t care about what other think, but I do….how do I find center because I have always cared myself like this for years and its starting to bother me…
February 20th, 2008 at 2:12 am
I think a lot of people dwell on the stuff that’s out of their control for just that reason - it’s out of their control and the only thing they can do is think about it. And if we just forget about the stuff that upsets us, it’s almost like we didn’t do anything about it.
The problem is that the side effects of dwelling on things that we can’t do anything about get in the way of the rest of our lives. And like you said… it gets in the way of finding a happy center.
Not letting what other people think bother you is much easier said than done. But when I start to feel myself worrying about what other people think, I just remind myself that whatever it is I’m doing… or whatever it is I’m afraid people are judging me for… has already been done by someone else - probably even by the people I’m worrying about. We’ve all been there. And that makes it easier for me to just let what other people think slide right on by…