Why Do We “Friend” People We Don’t Know?
August 4, 2007
comScore, a company that measures people’s online behavior, recently released an interesting report on the popularity of social networks. In that report, the company talked about the massive numbers of people from all over the world flocking to networks like MySpace, Facebook, Hi5, Friendster, Orkut, Bebo, and Tagged. According to comScore’s numbers, literally hundreds of millions of people belong to one or more of these networks.
I recently declared MySpace “bankruptcy”. In a nutshell, it means I said ’screw it’ and deleted my MySpace account. But, like many people, I belong to more than one social network - so I kept my Facebook account. Facebook gives me more control over who sees what. It also looks and works a lot better than MySpace (which is a piece of junk, code-wise).
Most of the people I’ve linked up with on Facebook (and MySpace, when I had it) were either 1) people I see every day or 2) people I used to be friends with. But I know a lot of folks who are literally overflowing with “friends” on these networks. Their “friends”, however, are comprised of scores of people they don’t actually know in any real way.
I’ve seen tons of websites and blogs with links to people’s profiles on these social networks. They add just about anyone who sends them a request and share all of their personal information with people who are basically strangers… never really understanding what that actually means.
Am I the odd one here? Do any of you use one of these networks? Do you add just anyone who sends you a request? If so, I’d love to know why.
Maybe I’m missing the point of sites like MySpace and Facebook. Are they supposed to be used for meeting new people? And if so, doesn’t that take away a very important part of the “getting to know someone” process? I used MySpace to link up with my favorite author and a couple of bands - so I could get updates on new books and music. But (with the exception of one), I never actually chatted them up or interacted with their profile.
So can someone tell me this… why do we “friend” people we don’t know on social networks? I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I’m just curious. What am I missing here?
Posted in Human Nature, On The Net, Questions
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August 4th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
I use Facebook, Twitter and Flickr all which I consider social spaces. In all three spaces I have found people that add contacts indiscriminately, but I’m not one of them. I tend to be the most guarded on Facebook because that feels the most intimate space to me. I’ve never understood the people who added everybody because to me you lose the usefulness of the site. If I have 2,000 contacts on Flickr there is no possible way I can actually see all their photos. The fun part of these sites is the actual interaction with people and you can’t interact with that many people.
Hope you get some good answers because your question puzzles me as well.
August 4th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
I gave Twitter a try myself (but I’m sure you remember that… haha). But I just couldn’t remember to use it so I all but gave up.
You’re absolutely right - the fun of social networking is the interaction. And there’s no way you can meaningfully interact with that many people. I sometimes forget to check my Facebook account to see what the 10 or so people on there are up to. Haha. I couldn’t imagine 2000!
That’s why I prefer a medium like, oh… say… a blog… for getting to know new people. It’s much more meaningful interaction and you can actually get to know how people think, what their opinions are, etc. And once you’ve got to know a little something about a person that way it would make more sense to “friend” them on a social network.
August 5th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
Well I am thankful you used Twitter for a little while because its how I found this blog! If anyone else decides to comment on this I would also like to know if those people understand that not everyone wants to add complete strangers. I’ve rejected the same person twice today on Facebook because I have no clue who it is. I don’t have a problem adding people I haven’t met, if I have interaction with them on line, but complete strangers?
*shaking head*
August 8th, 2007 at 8:46 pm
Hmmm…looks like I’m the odd one out here. I’ve never used any of these “social networks”. I always go to people’s blogs instead. Maybe I have a lack of trust for strangers.
August 10th, 2007 at 8:11 am
I just don’t like the idea of people I don’t know knowing that much about me. Some folks say that privacy is an illusion… but I guess it’s an illusion I enjoy playing up to.