Jen: A Big Brother 8 Example of How to Handle Abuse
August 7, 2007
I’ve never kept my dislike of reality TV a secret. I don’t like it… with one exception. Last year I became a fan of Big Brother. It’s an interesting experiment in human behavior and interaction. If you’ve never watched the show, it’s like The Real World in a way - a bunch of strangers get thrown together in a house. But they’re completely cut off from the outside world. They can’t leave… they can’t watch TV… nothing. All they have are each other.
One of my favorite people in the house this year is Jen. A lot of people don’t like her. In fact, she gets chosen by the American viewers to get kicked out just about every week. Most of the people in house hate her as well. I won’t profess to know why just from watching the show. They say she’s selfish and rude. I think she’s hilarious.
And she’s a great example of how to deal with the abusive things people say to us.
The girl just doesn’t care what other people think or say to her. Sure… she’s a bit self involved (she cried over the picture the studio used for her head shot in the house). But she’s taken more abuse this season than possibly any other character in the history of the show… and she’s still smiling and having a good time.
One guy in particular hates her. He harasses her relentlessly, calls her every name in the book, told her he’d love to feel his hands around her neck, and even poured tea over her head at one point. Given the chance… he’d like nothing more than to try to kick her around a bit. He’s got another kick-toy in the house, too. But she’s broken - he’s tormented her into an exhausted state and a lot of folks in the house think she’s on the verge of cracking.
But not Jen. Case in point, the following clip. It was apparently recorded off the 24 hour live feed because it’s uncensored. And I’ll warn you - it’s ripe with “language” (the guy in question can’t think of any better way to express himself). If you’re able to look past the language, I’d love for you to watch the clip. Pay particular attention to how Jen (the girl in the purple shirt eating out of the mug) simply doesn’t seem to care:
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She seriously cracks me up. You can see her grinning to herself at the end of the clip. She stands there, not saying much other than to confirm the things that are being thrown at her. And after all of that… she’s grinning to herself about the whole thing. And it’s like this every day. Just about all of the other house guests rag on her non-stop… and she just doesn’t care.
On last Sunday’s episode she said something along the lines of “I don’t care… I’m here doing my thing… having a good time… trying new things… and I don’t care”. It was awesome!
Don’t get me wrong - I don’t think her self-centered, egotistical behavior is a model of how the rest of us should act. But we could all certainly learn a thing or two from how she handles the way people respond to her. She shrugs them off, smiles, and goes about her business - and it drives the people who would pull her down crazy!
So the next time you find yourself in a situation where someone is trying to pull you down to lift themselves up, think about that. If Jen can keep her sanity and her wits for over a month of non-stop abuse from a whole group of people that she’s forced to live with… you can handle a rouge insult here or there.
And the added bonus of killing them with kindness… it really irks the abusive people.
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August 8th, 2007 at 9:44 pm
Hahaha!!! The girl can sure handle a lot. But maybe, just maybe she’s bottling up it all inside but doesn’t show it. Mind you, because she’s keeping her cool, it really makes the other people look “bad”.
Thanks. I need to learn from her. Next time someone screams at me, I’ll just look him/her in the eyes and smile…that big “I don’t give a hoot” smile.
August 10th, 2007 at 8:15 am
I’m sure she’s keeping some of it inside. She has been emotional a couple of times - but never about the abuse thrown at her from other people.
My favorite way to respond to abuse: “Hmmm… ok… thanks!” *big cheesy smile*
August 12th, 2007 at 11:35 pm
The part that I can’t believe is that nobody else in the room told that dude to shut up. I mean, seriously: I felt uncomfortable watching that, and I wasn’t even there. If I had been in the room I would have been like “I don’t care how bad of a person she is, it’s really annoying to have to sit through you hurling insults non-stop.” If I were any of the other players I’d be praying for the guy to leave… at least then there’d be some peace and quiet.
August 13th, 2007 at 11:51 am
Okay, well, I dunno why he hates her…but he is no better than her judging by the way he’s talking to her. I’m kinda proud of the way she’s acting.
Also, if she really is as selfish and rude as they think she is, then what they are saying to her probably ISN’T bothering her at all. Afterall, all she cares about is herself, apparantly.
August 14th, 2007 at 12:08 am
@Tony - They all hate that guy. In fact, if things going according to plan, he’s getting his ass kicked out this week.
@KT - Good point! I think you’re right - she just doesn’t give a rats about what folks think of her!