Can Narcissism Really Save a Relationship?
August 9, 2007
Think narcissists make bad relationship partners? Think again!
Ok… well… don’t really. Chances are, a narcissist probably wouldn’t be the best person to partner up with. But according to some research by Joshua Foster, now a professor of psychology at the University of South Alabama, the tendency of narcissists to think it absurd that someone wouldn’t like them might actually save a relationship or two… for a little while, at least.
Foster, a specialist on narcissism, has developed the following theory:
- Suspicions of waning interesting from one member of a relationship are often the cause of the couple’s undoing
- Unnarcissistic folks begin to doubt their partner’s interest… which in turn leads to a doubting of the relationship… which then often leads to a series of events that doom the relationship
- Narcissistic people, on the other hand, wouldn’t be as prone to think their partners were losing interest… thus the cycle of attitude and behavioral changes that would ultimate lead to the relationship’s downfall are avoided
Ultimately it’s only a temporary stay on the eventual outcome. If two people don’t work together they don’t work - regardless of whether narcissism plays any role. Eventually (hopefully) the two would still realize they weren’t a good match. We’re assuming here, of course, that these folks are self-sufficient enough to be able to branch outside their relationship and look for something else.
What do you think? Does Dr. Foster make a good point with his theory? In the end does it even matter (assuming we know how the relationship will eventually play out)? What have your experiences with narcissism been like?
Posted in Psychology, Relationships
- Dump & Move
- Is It Time to End Your Relationship?
- Jealousy Isn’t the Answer to Relationship Problems
- The Sexual One-Step
- A New Kind of Thanks
August 11th, 2007 at 9:44 pm
I don’t know enough or understand enough about relationships and narcissistic people to comment. But I can say that in a relationship there should always be one listener and one talker. Two listeners will never talk and two talkers will never listen.
August 12th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
I’d like to think people can be both - talkers and listeners. I know it doesn’t work that way all the time. But best of both worlds… yeah… I’d take that.