Could Silence Be Killing Married Women?
August 20, 2007
Reuters has published some interesting results of a new study that looks at the connection between behavior and health as it relates to marriage. Some of the findings include:
- Depression, irritable bowel syndrome, and death are more common in women who remain silent during maritial spats
- Unmarried men were twice as likely to die during a given time period than their married counterparts
- Men who were married to women with stressful jobs were 2.7 times as likely to develop heart disease
I must admit… I’d love to get my hands on the complete results of the study. Without purchasing a subscription, the best I can snag is an abstract - not much there that isn’t in Reuter’s write-up.
First of all, I’d like to point out that someone should have edited Reuter’s article a little more closely:
Women who force themselves to stay quiet during marital arguments appear to have a higher risk of death…
Eaker and her colleagues found that, over a 10-year period, the most striking finding was that women who self-silenced were four times more likely to die than women who expressed themselves freely during marital arguments.
I know what they were trying to say. But it sounds as if death is some avoidable thing that self-silencing causes… like cancer… or the clap. That little editorial detail aside, the results of the study are interesting.
But I can’t help but boil the details down to their finer bits. At the root of all these issues is stress. It’s stressful to remain silent when you really want to speak. It’s stressful to feel like you can’t provide for a spouse. It’s stressful to feel insecure and alone. What’s the common denominator? Stress! Stress… stress… stress!
So is it really staying silent during a fight that increases the likelihood of death? Is it really being married that reduces the chance of dying? Is it really a husband’s inability to protect his wife at a stressful job that increases his risk of heart disease?
No. It’s stress.
Sure… these are specific causes of stress that are related to marriage. Is it accurate to say that these life situations are the contributing factors to death and heart disease? In so much as they cause stress, yes. But ultimately… stress from just about any situation is likely to have the same effect.
So is silence killing married women? Are stressed wives contributing to their husband’s chance of developing heart disease? Does staying single double your chances of dying?
Maybe. I’ll let you be the judge of how to take it.
Posted in In the News, Relationships
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August 26th, 2007 at 4:22 pm
That’s why married women tend to nag a lot. (Oops! Did I say that out loud?)
“Depression, irritable bowel syndrome, and death are more common in women who remain silent during maritial spats” – My point of view: Having someone who is willing to listen and understand your problems really help in reducing depression. Irritable bowel syndrome can happen to anyone who is under significant stress. As for death, I think it has more to do with not letting your partner know that you are not feeling well. Often the partner will encourage visits to the doctor’s office resulting in early detection of any life threatening diseases.
“Unmarried men were twice as likely to die during a given time period than their married counterparts” – My point of view: Unmarried men tend to eat at fast food places more often than married men who have wives to make them that healthy home cooked dinner. There is also someone there to constantly remind them not to engorge so much, keep their weight down, get rid of that spare tire, stay away from junk food and soda drinks, etc. etc.
“Men who were married to women with stressful jobs were 2.7 times as likely to develop heart disease” – My point of view: These married men probably eat more like their unmarried counterparts, which is at fast food joints. Their wives won’t have the time or the patience to make dinner for them. Similar to the silent wife situation, the husband may feel unwell but he doesn’t want his wife to worry so he suffers in silent and doesn’t make those important visits to the doctor.
Stress in general does weaken the immune system. I’m a living proof. When I was stressed I noticed that I became allergic to a lot more food which I used to be able to eat with no problem.
September 5th, 2007 at 9:18 am
I live within a stressful environment everyday. I feel the pressures of not being able to provide for my family because I work and my husband stays home, and we live below the poverty line. However, I’m the one who lets my 250 pound husband walk all over me in a fight. When I get angry I just get confused, and he has an evil way of twisting everything.
Ever heard the saying don’t go to bed angry? This is probably the dumbest phrase ever. Often times it’s better for me to just leave the situation and take a break, but even still I rarely speak my mind for fear of losing my kids and the life they know.
I do have irritable bowel syndrome and I’m sure it stems from 2 unhealthy marriages. So, if I die earlier than I should, You can count me as part of the silent.