How Do You Tell Someone They Smell Like a Litterbox?
September 30, 2007
As I’ve mentioned in the past, there’s a fine line between tactful honesty and rudeness. I’ve always been a big fan of being honest with people - even if it means saying something they don’t want to hear. It’s gotten me into trouble on more than one occasion. In some cases I don’t care what folks think of the things I have to say.
But sometimes I do… and so it becomes difficult to balance my need to be honest with my desire to not be too offensive or rude.
Take a situation at work: one of my co-workers really smells bad. I know what you’re thinking. It sounds like a petty, stupid thing to even mention. But you have no idea. My best guess is that this person lives with 50 cats who all use her closet as a litter box. I don’t mean the litter box is in the closet. I mean they use her clothes as a litter box. I halfway expect to see a rouge cat hop out of her pocket any day now.
I’m not the only one who’s noticed. In fact, more than one person has mentioned it to me in passing. What’s more is that it’s bad enough to cause another co-worker to go to our unit manager about the problem. Unfortunately, a pungent, piss-smelling co-worker isn’t top priority on the list of things for management to deal with in a psychiatric hospital.
To make matters worse… this person is attempting to mask the smell of the piss of 50 cats with a floral perfume of some sort. It’s a futile effort. Few things in this world are as pungent as the smell of cat pee. Seriously. It’s got to rival skunk for the top spot on the “Smells That Never Die” list. The combined affect is a confusing medley of two smells that should never mix. Needless to say - it’s awful.
Is there a tactful way to say something to someone about this kind of thing? Is it even any of our business to say something? What if it’s not cat pee. What if, as one person suggested, it’s just a really bad perfume?
I’ve rolled a few ideas around in my head:
- “How many cats do you have now?” *sniff* “Oh yeah? 50? It only smells like 30.”
- “I’m all about saving the environment, too… but I’m not sure using your clothes as a renewable source of kitty litter is really the best way to reduce landfill waste.”
- “Do your cats hate you or something?”
- “I’ve got a cat, too. I’ve got a couple of pictures of him on my phone. I don’t wear his piss on my body or anything… but that doesn’t mean I love him any less, ya know!”
- “So do your cats sleep with you… or is it the other way around?”
After careful consideration I’ve decided to throw them all out. Something just didn’t seem right about any of those approaches. And no… I haven’t even considered an up-front, serious approach such as “Just so you know… you really smell like cat pee.” That would just make too much sense.
The hospital forbids the wearing of strong cologne and perfume because it can irritate a patient’s condition. But since we don’t usually have a lot of medical conditions on our floor that rule kinda slides from time to time. Even so… I think there’s an unwritten rule somewhere that says pee is never an acceptable fragrance… in any amount.
So how do you tell someone that they smell like a dirty litterbox? Seriously! Haha. Is there really any feelings-sparing, polite way to tell another person that they’re giving off the odor of feline excrement? No matter how you craft your pitch, you simply can’t get around the fact that the news you’re delivering is something that most people would find undesirable. There’s no rosy spin… no roundabout approach… and no excuses that can be made.
What, then, is the lesser of the two evils: sucking it up and dealing with a co-worker that would turn even a cat’s nose… or breaking the news that urine isn’t really the “in” fall fragrance for 2007?
Posted in
September 30th, 2007 at 10:19 pm
Honestly Derick…I don’t know if there is an approach that wouldn’t hurt her feelings. Most people who have cats are kind of immune to the cat pee smell…so there is a good chance she doesn’t even notice it! Either she is A. Completely AWARE that she smells like cat pee and doesn’t even care.. or B. Has absolutely no idea, and if brought to her attention, would wonder how long she has smelled like that, why nobody has told her before, and what she can possibly do now to get rid of it. Not to mention be extremely embarrased (but that’s stating the obvious)
If I were you, I would just ignore it unless she asks you if she smells bad. I think that is the safest way to go about it…
October 4th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Been there, done and still doing that. My in-laws have a cat box in their bathroom right inside the front door. Usually people have a smell to their home that’s kind of inviting. Not them!! you walk in and immediately hold your breath. I always say your litter box needs to be changed, and several times until they get up and do it. We have even left before because their house reaks so bad at times. I love them so I can say to them “Your house smells like cat s$%t.” But as far as telling someone you work with, I’d probably hold my nose or put my nose in my shirt when they’re around. Maybe they’ll get it that they stink.
October 7th, 2007 at 12:03 am
Hmmm…this sounds like a smelly situation. I once had a co-worker who preferred to take off his shoes and walk around in his smelly socks. No one had the guts to approach him to tell him straight out that it stinks and for him to put his shoes back on. Like you, I don’t like sugar-coating my words but something had to be done for me not to start puking each time this guy came around. So this is what I said, “Hey bud, did you know that it is company policy to keep your footwear on for safety purposes? We work beside the shop and the service guys regularly walk in here. They would be caring deadly chemicals, glass or metallic materials and depositing them on the carpet here. I don’t want to see you get hurt, so maybe keeping your shoes on is a good idea.” I even received a big “Thank you” from this guy. He thought I was his life-saver.
As for your co-worker…well this could be a tough one. I really find it hard to believe that this cat person is unaware of their cat pee smell. In fact I find people like that utterly inconsiderate to parade around and make other people suffer for their sake. But I understand why you are reluctant to hurt people’s feelings. You’re in one of those, “You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t.” situation.
You can try saying, “I once had a co-worker who owned a couple of horses. He did amateur horse racing. He was such a nice fellow. The only problem was each day he would arrive at work smelling like horse s–t. I found out later that each morning before leaving for work he would clean the horse stalls. Such a hard working guy. One day one of our other co-workers told him straight out that he smelled pretty bad and that some of the women found it nauseating. Amazingly, this guy took no offense at all. He made a point to shower and wash his hair thoroughly after cleaning the stalls and made sure the clothes he wore were not washed in the same load as the clothes he wore when cleaning the stalls.”
Or you can try, “I knew a co-worker who was chased by a couple of dogs and bitten to death while walking to work one day. The police were curious as to what would have caused the dogs to react this way, so they brought in a veterinarian. The veterinarian explained that this woman could have hugged her cats before going to work. Certain breed of cats give off a strong offensive odor that dogs do not like. So this may have been the reason for the deadly attack. Would you know which breed of cat has this odor?”
October 8th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
MY, I really like your approach to telling people they stink…you must be a pro! (haha) In fact, I will probably use one of those in the future!
So um…Derick … I once had a co-worker who owned a couple of horses………..
October 10th, 2007 at 10:49 am
KT.. I don’t know what you’re trying to insinuate there, but if I ever smell like pee, please just tell me. I know it will be a lie and I know that you’ll just be saying it because you’re jealous of me or something… but I’ll listen. LOL! ;)
October 10th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
haha!
October 14th, 2007 at 4:57 pm
KT, nah…I’m no pro, just been in too many “stinky” situations. :)
As for Derick, all you need to tell him is: “Your cologne/aftershave smells kinda weird…”
October 18th, 2007 at 1:16 am
My co-worker: “Weird? Weird how?”
Me: “Oh… weird in the rose-covered piss kinda way….”
October 18th, 2007 at 10:38 pm
When I was younger, my parents had cats, and they used a couple of loads of laundry as a cat box a couple of times. I washed the clothes, and thought- no big deal. Just skin the cats at a later date. (joke) But- NO- the smell STAYS through Perm Press HOT washing.
I *bet* she thinks she is getting it out.
I remember being at school and had a shirt on and moved a certain way only to smell that crap and think “F*CK! I’m GROSS!” Does the co-worker not make much money? They will HAVE to throw out the clothes if they are soiled enough. The cats have an organ called the vomeronasal or Jacobson’s Organ that humans do not have that can detect minute traces of cat urine, and thus use the same spot as a litter box over and over again. That is all there is to it.
She needs to throw the crap OUT. They’re pissing on it. Either get a new wardrobe or keep your creatures out of your bedroom. Yeah, tell them that.
I love kitties, but I just won’t have one again.
I dunno what you could say.
Just get them fired.
I’m *kidding*.
Sort of.
HOW weird I find THIS BLOG when I am trying to see how good the air purifier I just bought REALLY is. LOL!!!
October 19th, 2007 at 1:27 am
LOL about stumbling here in search of air purifier reviews! Hopefully you found at least a couple of links that were actually about what you were looking for :P
But you make a good point. I never thought that this person might think the piss smell is gone. My cat peed in my car about 3 years ago. And, just like you said, on certain days - especially when the sun is really hot - I get the faint smell of cat piss in there… even though I’ve scrubbed the spot he peed on dozens of times! Haha.
I don’t let MY cat in my bedroom. I learned my lesson when he decided that he needed to turn my pile of dirty socks into a second litterbox. Luckily socks are easily replaced (which is what ultimately happened to most of them). I just can’t figure out how this person’s clothes are getting pissed on. Do they keep all of their clothes on the floor? Does the cat stand at the bottom of the closet and piss up into the air?
How does that even work?????
December 1st, 2007 at 6:49 am
It can be tricky in the corporate world to tell someone that they smell. I’d actually suggest walking up and talking about a friend’s cat. Then ask if your co-worker has cats. Then slowly go into how your friends house smells like cats but you don’t know how to tell him. Then ask if they have any secrets for keeping the smell down. Maybe they’ll get the hint. Doubtful… but maybe.
My works much different. I’ve actually turned people away because they smell. I had a couple bike kids walk up and before I could even ask for their i.d.’s I could smell them. I told them straight out that they’d make the other customers nauseous. Then I told them to go home, take a shower and come back.
They didn’t like it very much….
February 21st, 2008 at 6:03 am
Does your coworker wear New Balance shoes? This exact situation has come up at our hospital with two employees who DON’T OWN CATS! New Balance is denying the problem, but a google search will show you that multiple people are having this complaint. It’s much easier to point out to someone that they have defective shoes than poor hygiene. Take a look at their shoes, that may very well be the source!
March 14th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Sorry for the delay in my response… haha. I’ll have to check out this person’s shoes the next time I see them. I’d never have thought that a pair of shoes could have such an unpleasant side effect! I had to check out my OWN New Balance shoes to make sure I wasn’t a walking litter box myself. Haha!
But I’m still guessing that it’s a true cat smell… I know this person has multiple feline roommates.
May 5th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
This thread is kinda old but….I bet that person’s house is totally filthy. I bet that person never cleans litter boxes, or even has litter boxes. I bet that person has crap and filth and dirty dishes all over the place and it never gets cleaned up. I bet that person doesn’t bathe regularly nor does laundry regularly. (Ever?) I bet the kitchen, bathroom and bedrooms are dirty, not to mention the living areas. I say this because…
cats are not innately smelly animals. They are clean, clean themselves, like to have a clean environment and like clean litter boxes. They like to sleep on clean beds and have clean dishes with fresh food to eat from.
I bet that house looks like one of those pig stys on “How Clean is Your House” on BBC.
That is a smell that comes from living in a dirty, dirty house, I guarantee you.
I have three cats and five litter boxes which are cleaned daily and emptied completely and scrubbed with disinfectant weekly. I wash their beds weekly. I wash their dishes after every meal just like I wash our dishes. Ditto for my two dogs. A cable guy was here the other day when one of the cats strolled out of the bedroom into the living room. He looked at it and said “I never would have guessed you have cats in your house.”
Well, maybe that’s because I clean.
Management needs to take a hand with this employee…maybe some mental health care is needed by this person, and maybe Social Services could take a hand in helping get the home environment cleaned up. Just a thought.