For The Thrill of Drama

January 24, 2008

Sometimes I have to remind myself that the term “drama queen” is usually considered a negative thing. I didn’t miss a memo did I? Drama is still something we’re all trying to avoid, right?

Tonight was visiting night for the patients at the hospital. Unlike the medical sections of the hospital - which have pretty liberal visiting hours - the psychiatric units only have visiting on two nights… and then only for one hour each night. Because of this restriction, we try our best to get everyone who visits in the door for at least a short time.

So when a patient’s spouse arrives at the door, we don’t usually think twice. Tonight, however, there was some confusion. One of our patients arrived at the hospital after being picked up by the police for violating a restraining order. When the patient in question was taken in to the police station it was quickly determined that something was a little off about his behavior.

No biggie, right? That’s pretty standard. But this patient’s spouse - who has the restraining order - showed up for visiting tonight. After a couple of phone calls to verify that it wasn’t illegal to allow them on to the unit (and a chat with the patient to make sure it was ok with him), we let her come on. You’d never have guessed these were anything but happily married people. They were chatting… hugging… and giving each other the puppy eyes during the entire visit.

It was a little strange.

But what was even more strange was the phone call that I got about an hour after visiting ended. The patient’s spouse called to see if there was anything that we could do about him calling her. Apparently he’d called her after she got home from visiting him. She went into great detail about the restraining order and all but demanded that we do something about his calls to her.

First of all… we don’t do that. We don’t monitor our patient’s phone calls. They’re free, grown adults and they can call anyone they want. I suggested she call the police if she felt like she was being harassed. I mean… she does have a restraining order against him. He shouldn’t be calling her.

But more importantly, how do you expect anyone to take you seriously when you spend an hour pawing a guy and hugging him and chatting him up… only to turn around and act like it’s a problem when he calls you? If you don’t want someone to contact you… maybe you should consider… oh… I dunno… NOT MAKING OUT WITH THEM?

Can you say “drama queen”? How is this not a case of someone making their own bed and then not wanting to lie in it? Ok… so you have a restraining order. You call the cops when he comes to your house. You call the cops if he calls you. But then you turn around and visit him in the hospital and spend more time wrapped around him than not?

I’m convinced that, while most of us try to avoid drama at all costs, some people crave it. They long for it. They look for ways to make their lives as dramatic as possible. Life seems boring to them. There’s nothing to do and nothing to occupy themselves with if there’s nothing dramatic going on. These are the people who drag drama into the rest of our lives simply because they need it. For what? I don’t know. The thrill? A sense of control or power? A way to feel?

Think about it. If a restraining order actually makes someone leave you alone… the drama is gone. It’s over. No more. But… if you can lead them on… give them reasons to keep hope that you might change your mind alive… and keep motivating them to violate the restraining order so you can get the police involved… the drama can live on!

What’s really sad about this situation is that the guy in question is on the fence. He’s teetering on the point of giving up. And I don’t mean on his marriage. I mean on his life. Anyone who’d spend 5 minutes with this guy would see the signs. He’s a man without a purpose.

The drama queen is just pushing him over the edge. And for what? The thrill of drama.

Category Posted in Human Nature, Rants